Tall Tales by Fantastic Fred

Patrick Jemmer: Hanesion Hynod gan Ffred Phantastig / Tall Tales by Fantastic Fred

Yn Ffurfiol/Patrick Jemmer

Cyfarchion cynhesaf, gyd-deithwyr ar y ffordd i le nad adwaenom eto! Ffredric Phantastig yw f’enw i. Wel, nid f’enw go iawn, wrth reswm, yw hwn, ond yn hytrach fy nglasenw hudol. Mae’n dangos mai un sy’n selog sugno pob diferyn o fêr o esgyrn bywyd ydwyf fi (rwy wedi gweld y ffilm o’r enw ‘Cymdeithas y Beirdd Marw’ sawl gwaith ch’wel? — “ffan o dastio” — chi’n deall?). Myfi sydd yn Feistr Llawn yn Urdd Cyfrinachau, gwas teyrngar i’r gwir Ddewin, y Doethur o Gymro o’r enw Siôn Du, Ceidwadwr Hen Ddirgelion y Dauwynebog a ŵyr popeth sy’n digwydd ar wyneb y blaned hon, a phopeth a ddigwydd at hynny. Atgyweiriwr breuddwydion mwrdredig, a chofiadwr bywydau wedi’u colli dan ddwylo’r Saith Swynwr Seraffaidd ydwyf fi. Rwy wedi bod yn llafurio i ddyfeisio moddion i roi i’r Ddaear chwerw hon flas o’i ffisig ei hun; ac ymhellach rwy wedi bod yn ymlafnio i ddysgu cyfiawnder i’r rhai cyndyn, er mai dim ond ychydig sy’n gwrando.

Warmest greetings, fellow-travellers on the way to a place we know not yet! Frederick Fantastic is my name. Well, this is not my real name, of course, but rather my magical by-name. It shows that I am one who zealously sucks every drop of marrow from the bones of life (I’ve seen the film ‘Dead Poets Society’ several times, you see? — “fan of tasting” — get it?). I am Full Master in the Guild of Secrets, faithful servant to the true Magus, the Welsh Doctor named John Dee, Keeper of the Old Mysteries of Barons who knows everything that happens on the face of this planet, and everything that will happen to boot. I am the mender of murdered dreams, and the remembrancer of lives lost at the hands of the Seven Seraphic Sorcerers. I have been labouring to devise potions to give this embittered Earth a taste of its own medicine; and further, I have been slaving to teach righteousness to the wayward, although there are only a few who listen.

Cymaint rwy wedi’i weld, a’i glywed, a’i ddeall, trwy roi sylw i’r lleisiau sy’n fy nghwmpasu, y sibrwd o’r cysgodion, a chyfieithu’r geiriau estron sy’n dod ataf fi o’r tu hwnt, y mae arnaf fi angen eu rhannu â chi. Bellach, yng Nghlinig Y Pinwydd, rwy wedi dod o hyd i ddogfennau sy’n cynnwys neges bwysig iawn. A dyma ffrwyth f’archwilio ar ffurf nodiadau ffurfiol, a recordiadau, a sgriblan athroniaethol, a darnau creadigol yn ôl pob sôn. O, myn fy ffydd, maent yn ceisio f’atal i, asiantau’r drefn arallfydol, mynachod y frawdoliaeth gycyllog dan awdurdod y pregethwr anfad, y Peintiwr Coch. Mae’r cythreuliaid wedi drysu’r llawysgrifau i gyd, ond fe ddaliaf ati er eu gwaethaf nhw. Ac yn enw Delw-addolwyr Dioglyd y Nw Yrth, fe fyddaf yn bwrw fy llid ar y rhai sydd yn dymuno rhwystro ein hachos ni’r ymladdwyr dros ryddid, naill ai yn y byd hwn neu ynteu yn y byd a ddaw! Yn gyntaf, fodd bynnag, rhaid i fi esbonio tipyn bach amdanaf fi fy hunan. Darllenwch, felly, ac wylo, o ddarganfod y gwirionedd llawen am ein lle yn y fuchedd hon.

How much I have seen, and heard, and understood, by giving heed to the voices that surround me, the whispering from the shadows, and translating the foreign words that come to me from beyond, and which I need to share with you. Now, in The Pines Clinic, I have found documents which contain a very important message. And here is the fruit of my research in the form of formal notes, and recordings, and philosophical scribblings, and what appear to be creative pieces. Oh, upon my faith, they are attempting to prevent me, the agents of the otherworldly order, the monks of the cowled brotherhood under the command of the unholy preacher, the Red Painter. The devils have mixed up all the manuscripts, but I shall stick with it despite them. And in the name of the Indolent Idolaters of the Nw Yrth, I shall have vengeance on those who wish to thwart our cause, we the freedom-fighters, either in this world, or the next! Read on, therefore, and weep, discovering the happy truth about our place in this existence.

Ond onid felly y penderfynwch, fe fyddwn i’n awgrymu gorwedd i lawr mewn ‘stafell dywyll, a chael dysgled hyfryd o de mate claear. O’m rhan i, rwy’n hoff iawn o ddarllen (ac ysgrifennu) nofelau gothig yn f’amser sbâr i ymlacio. Wedi’r cwbl, mae rhaid i hyd yn oed Buffy, Leiddiad Fampiriaid (f’arwres!), fynd ar wyliau unwaith yn y pedwar amser. A phan eilw’r awen pwy eill ei gwrthod? Gyda llaw, rwy wastad o ddifri calon, fel y gwelwch chi, ac rwy’n hoffi gwledda ar ffilmiau cyffrous megis ‘Gladiator’, ond, peidiwch â phoeni, rwy’n sylweddoli hefyd mai hiwmor diatal sydd yn iro olwynion y byd, fel y meddant hwy (wel, y rhai nad ydynt â’r sgiliau cyfathrebu sy’n perthyn i sach wlyb o ffuredau marw!). Felly nid tranc a thristwch fydd popeth! Fe fyddaf yn eich gadael gyda phob dymuniad da, a phob bendith am ddyfodol llawn o ddifyrrwch a thrawsffurfiad. A chofiwch chi wrth ichi dyfu a datblygu: enfawr dych chi, cynhwyswch laweroedd: gadewch nawr iddyn nhw fyw!

But if it is not thus that you decide, I would suggest reclining in a dark room, and having a lovely cup of luke-warm matte tea. For my part, I am very fond of reading (and writing) gothic novels in my spare time in order to relax. After all, even Buffy the Vampire Slayer (my heroine!) has to go on holiday once in a blue moon. And, when the Muse calls, who can resist Her? By the way, I am always deadly serious, as you can see, and I like feasting on exciting films like ‘Gladiator’, but, don’t worry, I appreciate too that it’s unrestrained humour that greases the world’s wheels, as they say (well the ones who don’t have the communication skills belonging to a wet sack of dead ferrets!). So it shall not all be doom and gloom! I’ll leave you with every good wish, and every blessing, for a future full of diversion and transformation. And remember whilst you grow and develop: you are enormous, you contain multitudes; now then allow them to grow!

“U Frith’f u hwahlé ína. Fli-salmé lif hýl fli-afoth-ri fy m’athoo nayn hýl hlispi fliri’f fl’azis hýl” (U ‘Vrithhain) – “Ia Firithe iusonu ina. A sana, ā fathe inā thu a lisipāzisas sanas ī the” (I Hain u Firithe)
“Yr oedd, yn y dechreuad, yr Haul. Ac ar ei ben ei hunan ydoedd, wedi lapio amdano â myfyrdod, heb adnabod neb ond Efe’i hun” (Cân yr Haul).
“There was, in the beginning, the Sun. And He was alone, and wrapped in thought, and knowing only Himself” (The Sunsong).

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Mynegai Pennod / Chapter Index

Pennod Un: Mae Ffred yn Sgriblan / Ffred’s Scribbling

Wel, helo bawb! Patrick sy ma. Wi di bod yn brysur iawn yn ddiweddar. Newydd gwpla cwrs Graenus ar-lein bendigedig gyda Phrifysgol Abertawe dw i, yn ogystal â’r cwrs Gloywi wedi’i ddarparu gan Brifysgol Aberystwyth ar-lein drwy’r wefan o’r enw “Y Bont.” Dros y Pasg wi di bod ati unwaith eto yn y Brifysgol, y tro hwn yn neud cwrs Hyfedredd. O, Jiw Jiw, mae wedi bod yn wych! Licwn i hala “diolch” enfawr i’n tiwtor ni, Dafydd Roberts, oedd yn ardderchog, ac i’r ffrindiau newydd oedd yn cymryd rhan. Sa i di cael cymaint o hwyl ers achau, a heb raid dweud, fe ddysgon ni i gyd lawer o bethau! O sgwrsio ag un o ‘nghyd-ddysgwyr, fydd yn neud yr arholiad uwch yn fuan, penderfynais i ddweud helo wrth Ffred Phantastig, i weld beth mae wedi bod yn neud. Wel, fel mae’n digwydd, mae wedi bod yn ysgrifennu llawer o lythyrau, ac adroddiad am ddrama hefyd, yn enwedig fel roedd rhaid i fi neud yn yr arholiad flwyddyn yn ôl. Felly, dyma dipyn bach o Ffred yn sgriblan i chi. Cadwch lygad barcut ar yr iaith — mae’n ceisio bod yn eitha ffurfiol / llythrennol mewn mannau! Olreit, te, gwbois –Hwyl am y tro — ac fel arfer, diolch i Lowri, Chris, a phawb ym Mhrifysgol Abertawe am drefnu popeth mor wych, ac i Neil yma ar Parallel.Cymru am y siawns i rannu gyda chi!

Well, hello everyone! Patrick here. I’ve been very busy recently. I’ve just finished a superb Finishing [“Graenus”] online course with Swansea University, as well as the Polishing [“Gloywi”] course provided online by Aberystwyth University on the website called “Y Bont.” Over Easter I’ve been at it once again in the University, this time doing a Proficiency [“Hyfedredd”] course. O, dear me, it’s been great! I’d like to send a huge “thanks” to our tutor Dafydd Roberts, who was excellent, and to the new friends who were taking part. I haven’t had so much fun for ages, and needless to say, we all learned a lot of stuff! After talking to one of my fellow learners, who’ll be doing the Advanced exam soon, I decided to say hello to Ffred Phantastig, to see what he’s been doing. Well, as it happens, he’s been writing lots of letters, and a report on a play as well, as I had to do in the exam a year ago. So, here’s a bit of Ffred scribbling away for you. Keep an eagle eye on the language — he’s trying to be quite formal / literary in places. OK then, y’all — Cheers for the time being — and, as usual, thanks to Lowri, Chris, and everyone in Swansea University for organising everything so well, and to Neil here on Parallel.Cymru for the chance to share with you!

HUD THEATRIG: Helo Bawb! Ffred sy ‘ma, yn gofyn ‘Ai hon yw dagr a welaf o’m blaen i?’ Y mis ‘ma licwn i gyflwyno i chi adolygiad o ddrama yr es i i’w gwylio ddoe yn Neuadd Dref Aber-gennin. A bod yn onest, y gwir reswm y mynychais i’r digwyddiad oedd achos bod Ethelwen, nith fach fy lojer (sy’n un ar bymtheg oed) yn chwarae rhan bwysig, ond rhaid i fi ddweud, er gwaethaf hynny, y mwynheais i fy hunan yn fawr iawn. Cafodd y ddrama o’r enw ‘Em ac Ec Beth?’ ei hysgrifennu gan y dramodydd o Almaenwr Wilhelm Cynhyrfwr-waywffon, rwy’n credu (maen nhw’n lico gwneud cyfansoddeiriau yn yr Almaeneg).THEATRICAL MAGIC: Hiya All! Ffred here, asking ‘Is this a dagger I see before me?’ This month I’d like to present you with a review of a play I went to see Aber-gennnin Town Hall. To be honest, the real reason I attended the event was because Ethelwen, my lodger’s little niece (who’s 16 years old) was playing an important part, but I have to say, despite that, I enjoyed myself very much. The play, called ‘M and C Who?’ was written by the German playwright Wilhelm Cynhyrfwr-waywffon, I believe (they do like to make compound words in German).
Mae’n cael ei lleoli yn yr Alban yn yr hen ddyddiau, ac yn cynnwys llawer o wleidyddiaeth hanesyddol a phethau gwael fel brenhinoedd sy’n cysgu drwy’r amser, a llofruddiaeth. Cyffrous iawn ydy’n wir, ond pam y sgrifennai dramodydd o Almaenwr am bethau a ddigwyddodd yn yr Alban ganrifoedd yn ôl sy’n achosi penbleth i fi. Rwy’n dwlu ar yr hanes arswyd am ysbrydion sy'n gweini ar feddyliau meidrolion, tra'u llanwant o’r corun i’r sawdl â chreulondeb enbytaf, gan dewychu’u gwaed! Rhyfedd o berthnasol i’r sefyllfa yn y wlad hon o Brydain heddiw ydy, heb os, hefyd! Creda i fod yr Albanwyr eisiau cipio grym yn y Deyrnas Unedig, gyda help tywysogion Cymdeithas Fasnach Rydd Ewrop, gan ddefnyddio technoleg fel peiriannau mwg a drychau hudol. Naeth y nith berfformio’n eithriadol o dda, gan sgrechian a llefain a rhuthro lan a lawr, wedi’i gwisgo mewn rhyw fath o len, ychydig yn debyg i ysbryd neu i wrach. ‘Y Frenhines Teras Mai’ oedd enw ei chymeriad (yr ‘Em’ yn y teitl), ac ‘Y Tywysog Bors ap Siôn’ oedd ei chariad, a cheisiai fe ei lladd hithau yn y pendraw. Ac ro’n nhw ill dau eisiau lladd eu gelyn gwaetha, ‘Yr Arglwydd Ieramheel Corbin’ (yr ‘Ec’ yw hon).It’s set in Scotland in the old days, and contains lots of historical politics and awful things like kings who are asleep all the time, and murder. It’s definitely very exciting, but why a German dramatist would write about things that happened in Scotland centuries ago is causing me a headache. I love the horrible story about spirits that tend on mortals’ thoughts, filling them from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty, whilst thickening the blood. It’s also strangely relevant to the situation in this land of Britain today, without a doubt! I believe that the Scots want to seize power in the UK, with the help of the European Free Trade Association, using technology like smoke machines and magic mirrors. The niece performed exceptionally well, shouting and weeping and rucking up and down, wearing some kind of sheet, a bit like a ghost or a witch. ‘Queen May’ was the name of her character (the ‘M’ in the title), and ‘Boris John’s-son’ was her lover, and he tried to kill her in the end. And the two of them wanted to kill their worst enemy, ‘Lord Jeremiah Corbyn’ (that’s the ‘C’).
A bod yn onest, lladdodd y nith fach ei hun, a phob copa walltog gaeth ei ladd hefyd mae’n ymddangos. Wedi’r cwbl, ‘Efe gaiff waed; ebe hwynt, Gwaed a geith waed,’ fel y dywed y dyfyniad ar y posteri. Ond roedd un peth yn anodd i fi. Mae’r cyfieithiad i’r Gymraeg gan lanc rhyfeddol o Groatia, o’r enw Dai Baxter i fod i fod yn ardderchog (enw od arno ta be, on’d ife?). Serch hynny, ddeallwn i’m y rhan fwyaf o beth roedd yr actorion yn ei ddweud – efallai bod nhw’n siarad yr Albaneg neu’r Almaeneg – er bod yr iaith yn swnio fel y Rwsieg, neu rywbeth. Rhyw fath o rwtsh, ta be. Wedi dweud hynny, roedd yn eithriadol o ddiwylliannol, gyda’r holl fabanod mewn crochanau, a choedwigoedd yn cerdded, o a’r gwaed i gyd mor goch â chetshyp tomato! ‘A'r coed a ddifethodd fwy o'r bobl nag a ddifethodd y cleddyf y diwrnod hwnnw’ – mae’r Beibl ‘na yn gywir am hynny.To be honest, the little niece killed herself, and every last one of ‘em got killed too it appears. After all, ‘Blood will have blood, they say, Blood will have blood,’ as the quotation declares on the posters. But one thing was hard for me. The translation into Welsh by the strange lad from Croatia, named Dai Baxter is supposed to be excellent (odd name he’s got though, hasn’t he?). Despite that I didn’t understand the majority of what the actors were saying – perhaps they were speaking Scottish or German – although the language sounded like Russian, or somesuch. Some kind of rubbish, in any case. Having said that, it was exceptionally cultural, with all the babies in cauldrons, and walking forests, and all the blood, as red as tomato ketchup! ‘And the trees destroyed more of the people that the sword destroyed that say’ – that there Bible’s right about that.
Beth, yn wir, oedd yn digwydd? Beth a wn i? Serch ny roedd yn brofiad bythgofiadwy. Bydd y cwmni (‘Y Chwaraewyr Chwit-chwat’) yn hercian o gwmpas trefi De Cymru dros y gaeaf i ddod â mawredd diwylliant i’r werin bobl yn ystod y tymor mwyaf creulon hwn, sy’n codi lelocs yn y pridd mar’, gan ddrysu cofion â chwant. Dylech chi fynd i weld y sioe ddisglair hon yn bendant. Gair i gall – mae mwy na digon o waed yn llifo fel afon lithrog, ludiog drwy’r perfformiad o ddechrau i ddiwedd. Mae na dipyn bach o fwdw hefyd yn ogystal â dogn o iaith fras fel y gwn i. Byddwch yn ofalus os nad ydych yn hoff iawn o gyfresi treisgar yn debyg i ‘Rownd a Rownd’ ar y teledu (Ww, mae’n gwneud i fi grynu bob tro!)!What, in fact, was happening? What do I know? Despite that it was an unforgettable experience. The company (‘The Fickle Fol-de-Rols’ [as they call themselves to the uninitiated]) will be dragging themselves around the towns of South Wales across the winter to bring the wonder of culture to the common people during this cruellest season, which grows lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire. You should go the see this dazzling show, definitely. A word to the wise – there’s more than enough blood flowing like a slippery, sticky river through this performance from start to finish. There’s a bit of voodoo too, as well as a dollop of bad language, as far as I know. Be careful if you’re not too fond of violent series like ‘Rownd a Rownd’ on the telly (Ooh, it makes me quiver very time!).
DADFLOCIO FY MHIBELLAU: O, gan bwyll nawr, yn hen gymrodyr, yr oedd helbul a helynt yn Ein Tŷ Ni’n ddiweddar gyda’r plymwaith. Nage dyn i gwyno am ddim byd ydw i, ond ar y llaw arall, rwy wastad eisiau diolchi’n wresog i bobl am wasanaeth da. Felly dyma i chi gopi o’r llythyr a anfonais i fynegi pa mor ddiolchgar o’n i pan ges i fy achub rhag tynged waeth na marwolaeth —UNBLOCKING MY PIPES: Oh, steady on now, me old mates, there was trouble and strife in Our ‘Ouse recently with the plumbing. Not that I’m man to complain about anything, but, on the other hand, I always want to give warm thanks to people for good service. So, here you have a copy of the letter I sent to express how thankful I was when I was saved from a fate worse than death —
‘Twym fel Tostyn’ Gwasanaethau Gwres: Annwyl Cyfarwyddwr y Cwmni! Yn ffodus iawn, yr oedd angen arnaf alw ar eich cwmni am ymgeledd a chymorth yr wythnos diwethaf pan gefais broblemau ofnadwy gyda’r gwres canolog yn fy mwthyn pitw, a bu bron i mi rewi i farwolaeth yn fy ngharafán lle rwy wedi bod yn byw y tu ôl i’r tŷ dros y gaeaf oherwydd stŵr gyda’r lletywraig. Syrthiaswn i gysgu tra perfformiai ei nith fach mewn drama, ond problem arall yw honno.‘Warn as Toast’ Heating Services: Dear Company Director! Unfortunately I had need of calling upon your company for succour and support last week when I experienced awful problems with the central heating in my tiny cottage, and I almost froze to death in my caravan where I have been living behind the house over the winter due to ructions with my lady lodger. I had fallen asleep while her niece was performing in a play, but that’s a different problem.
Mae eich hysbysebion (fe’u gwelaswn ar yr arwyddfwrdd yn Nhesbyro) yn honni mai ‘nyni yw’r mwyaf proffesiynol yn y busnes’ ac mewn gwirionedd, o ganlyniad i’m profiad, dywedwn mai hollol gywir yw’r gosodiad hunananghymeradwyol hwn. Felly, teimlaf fod rhaid imi ysgrifennu atoch er mwyn eich llongyfarch am safon eich gwasanaeth, sydd yn eithriadol o dda. Gyda llaw, nid oes golwg ohonoch yn yr hen archfarchnad ffiaidd o’r enw ‘Uwch-siopau,’ a dylai yna fod, yn bendifaddau.Your advertisements (they are to be seen on the noticeboards in Tesbyro) claim that ‘We are the most professional in the business’ and in truth, as a result of my experience, I would say that this self-deprecating statement is totally true. Thus, I feel that I need to write to you in order to congratulate you for the standard of your service, which is exceptionally good. By the way, there no sign of them in the horrid supermarket named ‘Super-shops,’ and there should be, indubitably.
O’r tro cyntaf pan wnes i’r alwad ffôn i ofyn am gymorth, cyrhaeddai eich staff bob amser yn brydlon. Wel, gorau po gyntaf, meddant, ac rwy’n cytuno’n llwyr yn yr achos hwn! Ar ben hynny, roeddent yn amyneddgar pan oeddwn yn holi iddynt ar hir broses beth oedd yn digwydd. Roeddent ymhellach yn paratoi potiau o de ar fy nghyfer, er nad ydwyf yn yfed y fath hylif drewdod; te mate yw fy hoff ddiod. Eto i gyd, siriol oedd pob un o’r chwe llanc, hyd yn oed pan na fwytwn y sleisys enfawr o deisen y cynigient mor rheolaidd â deial, ychwaith. Er, o feddwl amdani’n ddwys, ryw’n credu bod chwe phobl yn ormodol, cofiwch chi!From the first time I made the phone call to ask for help, your staff arrived punctually on every occasion. Well, the sooner the better, they say, and I totally agree in this case! On top of that, they were patient when I was asking at length what was happening. Furthermore they prepared pots of tea for me, although I do not drink such stinking brew; maté tea is my favourite beverage. Then again, every one of the six lads was cheerful, even when I would not eat the enormous slices of cake they offered me as regular as clockwork, either. Although, thinking about it, I think six people is excessive, mind you!
Yr oedd ansawdd y gwaith ei hun yn rhagorol hefyd, achos bod y lle yn dechrau teimlo cyn dwymed â’r Sahara ar ôl iddynt adael am y trydydd tro, heb sôn am y ffaith bod eich prisiau’n rhesymol dros ben, wedi rhoi cyfrif am yr holl flychau drudfawr o de Tibetaidd, a’r gacen hufen o fforest law'r Amason. Dyna pam ryw’n mynnu ar dalu’n llawn ac yn ychwanegu cildwrn sylweddol. Rydych yn cynnig gwasanaeth heb ei ail, felly byddaf yn cysylltu â chi eto, a dywedaf wrth fy lletywraig am wneud yn union yr un peth os byddaf yn ei gweld yn fuan. Daliwch ati: marchogion ar feirch gwynion ydych! Dymunwn eich canmol i’r cymylau a’r tu hwnt. Yn eiddoch yn gywir, Mr Ff Phantastig.The standard of the work itself was excellent also, because the place began to feel as warm as the Sahara after they left for the third time, not to mention the fact that your prices are exceedingly reasonable, after taking into account all the costly boxes of Tibetan tea, and the Amazonian gateau. That’s why I am insisting on paying in full and adding a substantial tip. You offer second-to-none service, so I shall be contacting you again, and I shall tell my lady lodger to do the exactly the same thing if I see her soon. Keep up the good work: you are knights in shining armour! I would like to give you the highest praise, and more. Yours faithfully, Mr Ff Phantastig.
CEFNOGWCH EICH CYMUNED LEOL! Mae pethau’n mynd o ddrwg i wael ym Mrynfelin ein cymuned hyfryd ni, ar hyn o bryd am fod cwmni o’r enw ‘Uwch-siopau’ eisiau agor archfarchnad enfawr yng nghanol y dref y flwyddyn nesaf. Fe sylweddola pawb eu bod nhw wedi gwneud yn union yr un peth o’r blaen yn y dinasoedd o gwmpas yr ardal, gan achosi i’r rhan fwyaf o werthwyr a chynhyrchwyr lleol golli eu swyddi. Maen nhw’n honni eu bod nhw’n hybu’r economi ac yn creu cyfoeth, ond fel y gwyddoch chi, celwydd noeth yw hyn mewn gwirionedd, a dim ond malu cachu y maent. A beth am Tesbyro? Dyna eisoes y lle lleia drwg i siopa ynddo, fe ddyweda i?SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY! Things are going from bad to worse in our lovely community of Brynfelin right now, as a company called ‘Super-shops’ wants to open an enormous supermarket in the middle of the town next year. Everyone realises that they’ve done exactly the same thing before in the cities around the area, causing most of the local sellers and producers to lose their jobs. They allege that they’re stimulating the economy and creating wealth, but as you know, this is a barefaced lie in truth, and they’re just talking shit. And what about Tesbyro? That’s already the least bad place to shop in, say I.
Wedi dweud hynny, mae ysgol newydd, tri chant o dai, tafarn a sinema wedi’u creu ger yr adeiladau newydd sbon yn Aber-gennin yn ddiweddar, ond ni allaf ddweud o ganlyniad i beth mae hyn wedi digwydd mor sydyn. Y peth nesaf fydd i’w weld yma yw fod llefaryddion y cwmni’n bwriadu dod lan o Gaerdydd i gwrdd ag aelodau’r cyhoedd yn ein tref fach bert, er mwyn i ni ‘ddod o hyd i fwy o wybodaeth’ am y sefyllfa ofnadwy sy’n prysur ddatblygu. Ddim gwybodaeth sydd ei heisiau yma, ond weithredu uniongyrchol. Os nad chi, pwy; os nad yn awr, pryd?Having said that, a new school, three hundred houses, a pub and a school have been created near the brand-new buildings in Aber-gennin recently, but I can’t say as a result of what this has happened so suddenly. The next thing that will be seen here is that spokespersons of the company are intending to come up from Cardiff to meet members of the public in our pretty little town, so that we can ‘find out more information’ am the awful situation that’s quickly developing. It’s not information that’s needed here, but direct action. If not you then who; if not now then when?
Byddwch chi’n siŵr o fod yno, yn Neuadd y Dref, ddydd Sul, 1af Ebrill am 9 o’r gloch y bore i fynegi eich gwrthwynebiaeth i’r cynllun gwael hwn. Defnyddiwch eich llais neu collwch eich hunan-barch! Os na fyddwch yn gwneud dim byd, fe fyddwn ni i gyd yn dioddef yn enbyd yn y dyfodol. Fi a ddylai wybod – dw i fy hunan eisoes wedi colli llawer o fusnes yn gwerthu hufen harddwch y tu mas i Tesbyro. Wi’n credu taw un o’r cynhyrfwr dros Uwch-siopau a hysbysodd yr heddlu ynghylch fy menter fach – yr hen gythraul. Gadwech i ni sefyll ynghyd -- mewn undeb y mae nerth!Be sure to be there, in the Town Hall, Sunday 1st April at 9am to express your opposition to this horrible plan. Use your voice or lose your self-respect! If you don’t do anything, we’ll all suffer terribly in the future. I should know – I myself have already lost lots of business selling beauty cream outside Tesbyro. I believe that it’s one of the Super-shops agitators who told the police about my little venture – the old devil. Let us stand together – in unity lies strength!
NEWYDDION CYFFROUS AM ŴYL GWIR A GOLAU: Fel y gŵyr pawb, am fy mhechodau rwy’n trefnu popeth ar gyfer yr ŵyl hon. Rydym ni ill dau ar y pwyllgor wedi dewis Dic Warthwr i fod ein siaradwr gwadd. Ro’n ni ‘n arfer bod yn yr un dosbarth gyda’n gilydd pan o’n ni’n gryts nes iddo fe gael ei fwrw mas am ei fod yn dwyn afalau oddi ar yr athrawes. Er eich gwybodaeth, dyma fi’n anfon gair i’r hen gonan sy ddim yn werth pris y stamp a bod yn onest, ond dyna ni, roedd Enwen yn ddi-ildio –EXCITING NEWS ABOUT THE FESTIVAL OF TRUTH AND LIGHT: As everyone knows, for my sins I’m organising everything for this festival. The two of us on the committee have chosen Dic Werthwr to be our invited speaker. We used to be in the same class as each other when we were kids until he got thrown out because he was stealing apples from the lady teacher. For your information, here am I, having a word with the old bugger who’s not worth the price of the stamp to be honest, but there we are, Enwen was adamant —
Annwyl Syr Dic, Dr Phantastig yw f’enw. Rwy’n byw ym Maes-y-tywod, hynny yw, ardal fwyaf dymunol Brynfelin, a chadeirydd grŵp bach trafod o’r enw ‘Y Rhan-amserwyr’ ydwyf ar hyn o bryd. Yn gyntaf oll, a allaf eich llongyfarch ar gael eich ethol i’r cyngor plwyf – trwy deg neu drwy hagr – unwaith eto, o drwch blewyn y tro hwn wrth gwrs! Ond eto i gyd, gwell y drwg a wyddys na'r drwg na wyddys, fel y medd yr athronwyr! Nid unigolyn drwg ydych chi, mae angen arnaf ddweud. Wel, rydym yn dathlu eleni hefyd, achos mai ein pen-blwydd yn ddeugain mlwydd oed ydy, ac felly byddwn yn trefnu llawer o ddigwyddiadau drwy’r dref fydd yn llawn o faneri, fflagiau, a rhubanau. Dear Sir Dic, Dr Ffantastig is my name. I live in Sandy-fields, that is, that most desirable area of Brynfelin, and I am chairperson of a small discussion group called ‘The Part-timers’ at the moment. First of all, can I congratulate you on being elected to the parish council – by fair means or foul – once again, by a hair’s breadth this time of course! But then again, better the devil you know that the one you don’t know, as the philosophers say! Not that you are a bad person, I have to say. Well, we are celebrating this year too, as it is out fortieth anniversary, and therefore we will be organizing a lot of events throughout the town, which will be full of banners, flags, and ribbons.
Bydd un o’r achlysuron arbennig yn barti yn y bar Awstralaidd o’r enw ‘Y Walabi Ewn,’ Ddydd Rhyngwladol Gwir a Golau, 29ain Chwefror, yn dechrau am 3 o’r gloch y prynhawn – caiff pawb ddigon o amser i ymlawenhau felly, gadewch inni ddweud. Byddem wrth ein boddau ped ymunech â ni er mwyn mwynhau gwydraid o win coch a brechdan gaws, a chynnig llwncdestun i’r meirwon craff i gyd. Gwn ichi fynd i’r ‘fan arall,’ sef i Brifysgol Rhydrawnt, tra mynychwn minnau Goleg Polytechnig Pontychen. Ond er gwaethaf y ffaith ichi astudio cwrs ôl-fodern a enwir yn ‘Egwyddorion Ymarfer’ (heb raid graddio) efallai yr areithiech am ychydig funudau (hyd at ddwy awr y gwnâi’r tro) ar bwysigrwydd addysg foesol mewn cymdeithas gyfoes.One of the special occasions will be a party in the Australian bar called ‘The Cheeky Wallaby,’ on the International Day of Truth and Light, February 29th, starting at 3pm – so everyone will have enough time to get jolly, let us say. We would be in our element if you could join us in order to enjoy a glass of red wine and a cheese sandwich, and offer a toast to all the discerning departed. I know that you went to the ‘other place,’ namely to Camford University, whilst I attended Oxbridge Polytechnic College. But despite the fact that you studied a post-modern course named ‘Principles of Study’ (without needing to graduate), perhaps you would hold forth for a few minutes (up to two hours would do the trick) on the importance of moral education in contemporary society.
Nid ydym yn sefydliad cyfoethog, gwaetha’r modd, ac felly mae’n ddrwg iawn gennyf na allaf eich talu am eich trafferth, yn enwedig gan fy mod yn gwybod pa mor bwysig ichi yw cael eich arian yn ei ôl ar draul y cyhoedd. Wedi dweud hynny, bydd yn bosibl inni ddarparu tocyn dwyffordd bws i Aber-gennin ichi os teithiwch yn ystod y cyfnod rhataf. Cefnogwr o gludiant cyhoeddus ydych, heb os nac oni bai. Wedyn bydd rhywun yn cwrdd â chi pan gyrhaeddwch. Rwy’n gobeithio y dewch i gymryd rhan. Nid oes rhaid i mi ddweud, bydd gohebydd o’r papur bro yno ar y dydd; rydym yn dwyn mewn cof fod cyhoeddusrwydd o bwys mwyaf i wleidyddion. Rhowch wybod imi ynglŷn â’r trefniadau cyn gynted ag y bo’n gyfleus, os gwelwch yn dda. Ydwyf, Syr (yr hen gono chi!), eich ufudd was, Ffred Phantastig.We are not a wealthy society, more’s the pity, and therefore I am very sorry that I cannot pay you for your trouble, especially as I know how important it is to you to gain reimbursement from the public purse. Having said that, it will be possible for us to provide a return bus ticket to Aber-gennin for you if you travel during the cheapest period. You are a supporter of public transport, no doubt. Then, someone will meet you when you arrive. I hope you will come to take part. I have no need to say, there will be a correspondent from the local paper there on the day; we bear in mind that publicity is of the greatest importance to politicians. Let me know about the arrangements as soon as it may be convenient, if you please. I am, Sir (you old fool), your humble and obedient servant, Ffred Phantastig.
GWNEUD CAIS AM SWYDD: Ar ôl yr holl broblemau pan o’n i’n gweithio fel lladd nadredd i atal ymosodiad gan drychfilod enfawr yng Nghlinig y Pin yn y goedwig ger yr hen Dŷ Glas sawl blwyddyn yn ôl, mae wedi bod yn anodd i fi dal ati gyda swydd barhaol. Ond bryd hyn, prin ydy arian – a phawb drosto'i hunan, ac i'r diawl â'r diwethaf yw dywediad y dydd. Felly, pan ddigwyddais i ddod ar draws yr hysbyseb yn y papur bro am swydd briodol iawn, fe deimlai y dylai wneud cais ar unwaith, a dyma beth sgrifennais i —APPLYING FOR A JOB: After all the problems when I was working like crazy to stop the invasion by giant insects in the Pines Clinic in the woods near the old Bluehouse a few years ago, it’s been hard for me to stick at it with a permanent job. But by now, money’s scarce – and everyone for him/her self, and devil take the hindmost, is the saying of the day. So, when I happened to come across the advertisement in the local paper for a very appropriate job, I felt I should apply at once, and here’s what I wrote —
Annwyl Syr neu Fadam! Rwy wedi gweld yr hysbyseb am y swydd o’r enw ‘Cynorthwyydd Hunanlywodraethol Llawn Amser Canolfan Chwedlonol Brynfelin’ yn y papur bro fis hwn, ac rwy’n awyddus iawn i wneud cais am hon. Nid oedd llawer o fanylion yn yr hysbyseb, felly dymunwn ddweud wrthych rywfaint amdanaf fy hun er mwyn profi fy mod yn addas i wneud y gwaith y bydd rhaid i’w gyflawni o ddydd i ddydd. Rwy’n gweithio gartre ar hyn o bryd fel cyfieithydd rhydd ei law, gan gynhyrchu fersiynau hen lawysgrifau wedi’u hysgrifennu mewn ieithoedd marw fel ‘Y Crochan sy Wastad yn Llawn’ o Bahia, Brasil. Felly gallaf ddechrau ar unwaith. Arferwn weithio fel cemegydd, a deuthum yn arbenigwr hunanaddysgedig pan symudais yn ôl i Gymru, o ganlyniad i’m diddordeb yn chwedlau Teml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig yng Ngwm-ran. Felly mae llawer o brofiad gennyf mewn pethau anarferol.Dear Sir or Madam! I have seen the advertisement for the job of ‘Brynfelin Mythical Centre Full-time Self-managing Assistant’ in the local paper this month, and I am very keen to apply for this. There were not a lot of details in the advertisement, therefore I would like to tell you something about myself in order to prove that I am suitable to do the work that will need to be done from day to day. I work at home at the moment as a freelance translator, producing versions of old manuscripts written in dead languages, such as ‘The Overflowing Pot’ from Bahia, Brazil. So, I can start at once. I used to work as a chemist, and became a self-taught specialist when I moved back to Wales, as a result of my interest in the Temple of the Hidden Glory in Cwm-ran. So, I have a lot of experience in unusual things.
Rwy wedi bod ati’n dysgu’r Gymraeg drwy gydol f’oes, a thybiaf fy mod cyn rhugled a neb arall erbyn hyn. Rwy newydd sefyll yr arholiad priodol i’r cymhwyster o’r enw ‘Diploma mewn Astudiaethau,’ a ddarperir gan Sefydliadau Cyfun Rhydrawnt a Phontychen. Pam na chynigir hwn gan Goleg Cymraeg a Chymreig? Nid myfi a ŵyr. Llwyddais yn orchestol yn y prawf hwn, a nawr gallaf areithio gan ddefnyddio brawddegau erchyll o gymhleth mewn Cymraeg hynafol, fel y rhai a geir yn ‘Cystrawen y Frawddeg Gymraeg’ gan Melville Richards (Gwasg Prifysgol Cymru Caerdydd; 1970).I have been working hard to learn Welsh all my life, and I think that I am as fluent as anyone else by now. I have just sat the exam for the qualification called ‘Diploma in Studies,’ which is provided by the Combined Institutions of Oxbridge and Camford. Why is this not offered by a Welsh-language Welsh College? I do not know. I passed with flying colours in this test, and now I can orate using horrifyingly complex sentences in Ancient Welsh, such as those in ‘Cystrawen y Frawddeg Gymraeg’ by Melville Richards (University of Wales Press Cardiff; 1970).
Byddwn yn falch o gael cyfle i gefnogi’n hiaith, ein diwylliant, ein hanes, ein chwedlau, a’n harferion od yn y Canolfan ac i’w hybu yn y gymuned ehangach y tu hwnt – megis trwy hudoliaeth neu beidio. Mae rhaid imi ddweud fy mod yn hoff iawn o anifeiliaid, yn enwedig cathod, ac os bydd angen gallaf drin â phobl yn dda iawn hefyd, yn ôl fy lletywraig arhosol. Rwy’n berffaith siŵr fod y gwasanaeth cymuned yn yr ysgol i blant unigryw, y bu raid imi ei wneud o ganlyniad i gamgymeriad anffodus yn y gweithle, wedi bod yn ddefnyddiol iawn o safbwynt deall pobl ifanc a hŷn a’u gormodedd o fannau gwan. Ymhellach, rwy wedi dod o hyd i oriau agor y Canolfan yn ystod yr wythnos ar eich gwefan, ac yn wir y credaf mai eithriadol o bwysig ydy presenoldeb ar y rhyngrwyd.I would be pleased to get a chance to support our language, our culture, our history, and our strange customs in the Centre and to promote them in the wider community beyond – as if by magic, or not. I must say that I am very fond of animals, especially cats, and if necessary I can deal with people very well too, according to my permanent lodging-lady. I am perfectly sure that the community service in the school for unique children that I had to do on account of an unfortunate mistake in the workplace, has been very useful from the point of view of understanding people, old and young, and their profusion of foibles. Furthermore, I have found the Centre’s opening times during the week on your website, and indeed I believe that an internet-presence is exceptionally important.
Es i ar gwrs o’r enw Hyfforddiant Cyfathrebu Pwrpasol yn Nheml Heddwch (maent yn dweud ‘y Deml Heddwch,’ ni ddeallaf pam), ym 2014, wedi’i drefnu gan Hub Datblygu Rhyngwladol Cymru. Rwy’n deall cyfathrebu ac offerynnau cyfathrebu, a gallaf ddatblygu cynllun cyfathrebu syml ar gyfer ein Canolfan, gan ddefnyddio meddalwedd ar gyfer gwefannau i gynyddu ein presenoldeb ar y rhyngrwyd am ddim. Ar ben hynny, hoffwn ddefnyddio rhwydweithiau cymdeithasol i weithio’n agos gyda chynulleidfaoedd newydd ac i ennill incwm, gan ddefnyddio’r cyfryngau i hyrwyddo eich gwaith, trwy ysgrifennu straeon addas ar gyfer y newyddion, a thrwy lunio datganiadau i’r wasg.I went on a course called Appropriate Communication Training in the Temple of Peace (they say ‘The Peace Temple,’ I do not understand why), in 2014, organized by the Wales International Development Hub. I understand communication and tools of communication, and can develop a simple communication plan for our Centre, using website software to increase our presence on the internet for free. On top of that, I would like to use social networks to work closely with new audiences and to earn income, using the media to promote our work, by writing stories suitable for the news, and by fashioning press-releases.
Dim ond dau gwestiwn sydd gennyf, sef yn gyntaf, a fydd angen arnaf wneud ceisiadau am gyllid o gwbl? Rwy wedi ennill maint bach oddi wrth Sefydliad Tywysogaidd Cymru yn y gorffennol (enw sydd yn annealladwy i’m hymennydd dryslyd o leiaf, ond dyna ni, nid dim mor rhyfedd â dyn, ife?), er mwyn gwneud arbrofion cemegol ynglŷn â pherffeithio elicsir clirwelediad o fadarch hudol, a thawelydd y bydd milfeddygon yn ei ddefnyddio ar geffylau, gwartheg ac anifeiliaid eraill. Wedi dweud hynny, gwerthfawrogwn hyfforddiant ychwanegol pe bai hwn ar gael.I have only two questions, namely first, will I need to apply for finance at all? I have won a small amount from the Princely Association of Wales in the past (a name which is incomprehensible to my confused mind at least, but there we are, there’s nowt as strange as folk, is there?), in order to do chemical experiments involved in perfecting a potion of second-sight from magic mushrooms, and tranquilizer that veterinaries use for horses, cattle, and other animals. Having said that, I would appreciate additional training if that were available.
Fy ail gwestiwn yw hwn: beth fydd yr amserau cyfatebol dros y Sul? Fe fyddai’n well gennyf weithio ar ddydd Sadwrn nag ar brynhawn Gwener, gan fod angen imi fynychu seremoni yn y Deml bryd hynny, yn fy rôl fel Ceidwad y Cyfrinachau. Gobeithiaf y diwallech fy anghenion arbennig yn hyn o beth. Rwy’n brwd ddisgwyl eich ymateb. Ryw’n edrych ymlaen at ddechrau cyn gynted ag y bo bosibl ac mewn gwirionedd ofnadwy o gyffrous ydwyf. Yr eiddoch yn gywir, Ffred Phantastig.My second question is this: what will be the equivalent hours over the weekend? I would prefer working on Saturday than on Friday afternoon, as I need to attend a ceremony in the Temple at that time, in my role as Keeper of the Secrets. I hope that you could satisfy my special needs in this. I am keenly awaiting your answer. I look forward to beginning as soon as it may be possible and in truth I am terribly excited. Yours faithfully, Ffred Phantastig.
Wel, dyna ni wedi dod i ben ar y sgwrsio unwaith to, bobol bach! Hwyl am y tro, wela i chi i gyd fis nesaf gyda rhagor o ddiwylliant, materion cyfoes, hysbysebion cymunedol ac yn y blaen, ac ati hyd at gyfoedi – a chofiwch, ‘Tyrd, gad im’ dy gythru. Ni’th ddalaf, ond fe’th ddalaf di’n wir.’Well, there we are at the end of our chattering once again, you folks! Bye-bye for now, I’ll see you all again next month with more culture, current affairs, community announcements, and so on and so forth, ad nauseam – and remember, ‘Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.’


Tall Tales by Fantastic Fred

Pennod Dau: Mae Ffred yn Bwyta Mas / Ffred Eats Out

Cyfarchion cynhesaf unwaith yn rhagor ichi, ddarllenwyr annwyl. Dyma Ffred Phantastig yn mynd ar fyw o’i anturiaethau. Heddi, gan fod e’n sgrifennu’n hytrach na sgwrsio, mae’n ceisio bod yn posh o ran yr iaith mae’n ei defnyddio. Disgwyliwch ymadroddion fel “bu bron i fi ffrwydro” a “fel patai,” brawddegau’n cynnwys y gorberffaith (“buasai hi, brasgamasai ef”), berfau cryno yn yr amser presennol (“cofiaf”), a ffurfiau fel “yr wyf.” Mae’n lico parablu’n huawdl am ei syniadau athroniaethol on’d ydy? Gair i gall: ddim bwyty go iawn yw “Yr Eliffant Gwyn” (am wn i) felly peidiwch gwastraffu’ch amser gwerthfawr yn chwilio amdano fe. Peth ola: enillodd (rhan o’r) darn hwn wobr yn “Eisteddfod y Dafarn” y llynedd yn y gystadleuaeth “adolygiad o unrhyw lyfr / gwesty / bwyty (agored)”. Mae hon yn eisteddfod i ddysgwyr yn Nhŷ Tawe, Abertawe, wedi’i threfnu gan Fenter Iaith Abertawe a Dysgu Cymraeg Ardal Bae Abertawe bob blwyddyn. Roedd y neuadd yn llond dop, ac fe licwn i ddiolchi i bawb am y siawns i ddysgu ac i gymryd rhan, ac am yr hwyl i gyd. Roedd sgiliau sgrifennu fel y rhain yn ddefnyddiol iawn i fi hefyd yn yr arholiad i Safon Uwch Ail-Iaith yn y Gymraeg yn 2017.

Warmest greetings once more to you, dear readers. Here’s Ffred Phantastig going on more of his adventures. Today, because he’s writing rather than chatting, he’s trying to be posh with the language he’s using. Look for phrases like “bu bron i fi ffrwydro” [“I almost exploded”] and “fel patai” [“as it were”], sentences containing the pluperfect (“buasai hi, brasgamasai ef” [“It would have been, he had stridden”]), short-form verbs in the present tense (“cofiaf” [“I remember”]), and forms like “yr wyf” [“I am”]. A word to the wise: “The White Elephant” isn’t a real place (as far as I know) so don’t waste your valuable time looking for it. Last thing: (part of) this piece won a prize in the “Pub Eisteddfod” last year in the competition “review of any book / hotel / restaurant (open).” This is an eisteddfod for learners in Tŷ Tawe, Swansea, organised by Menter Iaith Abertawe and Learn Welsh Swansea Bay Region every year. The hall was chock-a-block, and I’d like to thank everyone for the chance to learn and to take part, and for all the fun. Writing skills like these were also very useful to me in the exam for A-Level Second Language Welsh in 2017.

Cyfarchion cynhesaf fy nghyfeillion bore oes! Mor ddymunol ydy cael pleser eich cwmni unwaith yn rhagor. Heddiw mynnaf eich goleuo ynghylch y pwnc llosg o fwyd rhyngwladol. “Yr Eliffant Gwyn” yw fy hoff dŷ bwyta heb gysgod o amheuaeth. Lle lliwgar iawn ydy, sy’n drewi o ffrwyth Indiaidd gwaharddedig. Dychmygwch Adda ac Efa noethlymun groen yng Ngardd Eden (nid oedd angen dail ffigys bryd hynny) lle dan ganghennau coeden bomgranad yr eistedd duw tew a chwardd yn ei ddyblau, ac iddo drwnc hir sarffaidd, clustiau dirfawr sigladwy, a llawer o freichiau fel Mistar Goglais. Ac yno mae’r creadur hyf yn denu’r ddau sy’n newynu am wybodaeth ryseitiau dirgel â dysglau fyrdd o gyrri stemllyd, danteithion.Warmest greetings my lifelong buddies! It is so gratifying to have the pleasure of your company once again. Today I wish to enlighten you regarding the burning topic of international cuisine. “The While Elephant” is my favourite restaurant without a shadow of a doubt. It is a most colourful place, which reeks of forbidden Indian fruit. Imagine Adam and Eve, stark-naked in the Garden of Eden (there was no need for fig-leaves at that time) where sits, under the boughs of a pomegranate tree, a fat god who’s laughing heartily, with a long serpentine trunk, humungous flappable ears, and lots of arms like Mr Tickle. And there the cheeky creature tempts the two who hunger after the knowledge of secret recipes with myriad dishes of delicious, steaming curry.
Rwy’n dwlu ar fwyd sbeisiog, ac yn wir, am daith ar ffigar-êt coginiol oedd i ddod. Licswn i gyfleu ichi ychydig o’r naws a brofais y tro cyntaf y gwnes i dywyllu’i ddrws yn laslanc gwirion, amser maith yn ôl, ond eto i gyd, mae hen gof gan hen gi, onid oes? Efallai y byddaf yn dychwelyd yno am yr eildro cyn hir, a gobeithiaf y cofiant yr hen ddihareb, cân di bennill mwyn i’th nain, fe gân dy nain i tithau, pryd bynnag y gwnelwyf.I love spicy food, and indeed, what a culinary roller-coaster journey was to come. I would like to convey to you a little of the atmosphere I experienced the first time I darkened its door as a stripling lad, ages ago, but then again, an old dog has an old memory, doesn’t it? Perhaps I shall return for a second rime before long, and I hope they will remember the old proverb, sing a sweet song to your Gran, and then she’ll be your biggest fan, whenever I might do so.
Cyn ddistawed â'r bedd ydoedd yno am hanner dydd un Sadwrn gwlyb yng nghanol yr haf (roedd yn dawelach a bod yn onest, o feddwl am yr holl gybiaid oedd yn caboli’r cerrig beddi ac yn plannu blodau parhaol caled yn ymylon y fynwent y drws nesaf). ‘Rarglwydd roeddent yn cael hwyl a sbort a sbri o bob math ymhlith meirwon yr oesau, er gwaethaf y tywydd gwael. Yn yr oes yr ydym yn byw ynddi, fe ddylai pawb ddathlu rhodd marwolaeth heddychlon ac ebargofiant tragwyddol yn ei dilyn yn fwy aml, gan fod hon a wna i fyw fod yn werth chwil, rwy’n credu. O, y pethau rwy wedi eu gweld yn ystod fy mywyd, y cofion i gyd sy’n aros gennyf. Ond un dydd fe fydd popeth wedi mynd fel dagrau yn y glaw, pan ddaw’r amser i fi gysgu am byth. Wel am lol botes maip! Digon yw digon ar yr holl synfyfyrio athroniaethol, yr hen glebrwr.It was as quiet as the grave there at midday one wet Saturday in the middle of the summer (it was quieter to be honest, thinking about all the cubs who were polishing the grave-stones and planting hardy perennials in the verges of the cemetery next door). My Lord, they were having all manner of fun and enjoyment and diversion amongst the dead of the ages, despite the foul weather. In the period in which we live, everyone should celebrate more often the gift of a peaceful death and everlasting oblivion following it, because this is what makes living worthwhile, I believe. O, the things I’ve seen during my life, all the memories which remain with me. But one day everything will be gone like tears in the rain, when the time comes for me to sleep forever. Well, what a lot of old tosh! Enough is enough with all the philosophical musing, you old chatter-box.
Felly awn ni yn ein blaen gyda hanes yr epiffani o ran fy mlasbwyntiau. Roeddwn yn teimlo fel petawn yn bwyta gwellt fy ngwely ar ôl trallodion yr wythnos honno. Yn sydyn, fodd bynnag, roedd yn fy nharo i taw cam dros y trothwy yw hanner y daith, a chloffi rhwng dau feddwl a wnes i am eiliad gan ystyried wrthyf fy hun. Wedi dweud hynny, roedd y rheolwr cyn falched â phaun, ac yn glustiau i gyd pan ofynnais am y fwydlen. Brasgamasai fe tuag ataf oddi mewn i’w adeilad tra oeddwn yn llechi’r tu mas iddo. Gŵr urddasol, swmpus oedd e, yn gwisgo lifrai sidan, wyrddlas ac arni ysgwyddarnau a botymau o aur; ac am ei ben roedd twrban ysgarlad wedi’i addurno â phlu ffenics. Fel rhyw was y Nawab yn yr Oes Fictoraidd oedd e. Neu fe ddichon yr oedd yn ellyll golygus ond dychrynllyd o chwedl Arabaidd megis y Mil Noswaith ac Un, sut y gwyddwn i yn fy nghyni? Ond beth bynnag a fuasai roeddwn wedi fy mesmereiddio gan ei farf, oedd mor gringoch â’r Uffern ddydd Wener y Groglith. Yn wir, yr oedd i fod yn achlysur arbennig dros ben.So, let us proceed with the tale of the epiphany concerning my taste-buds. I was feeling so hungry I could eat my own pillow, after the tribulations of that week. Suddenly, however, it struck me that a step across the threshold is half the journey, and I hovered between two courses for an instant, cogitating internally. Having said that, the manager was as pleased as Punch, and all ears, when I asked for the menu. He had stridden towards me from within his premises while I was lurking outside it. He was a dignified, substantial fellow, wearing sea-green silken livery, with epaulettes and gold buttons, and on his head was a scarlet turban adorned with a phoenix feather. Like some servant to the Nawab in the Victorian Age he was. Or perhaps he was a handsome but terrifying demon from an Arabian tale such as the Thousand-and-One Nights, how was I to know, in my distress? But whatever he might have been, I was mesmerized by his beard, which was as ginger as Hell on Good Friday. Truly, it was to be an exceptionally special occasion.
Y tu mewn, yr oedd y lle mor chwaethus. Roedd darnau dieithr o waith llaw ym mhob man; roedd hyd yn oed y waliau wedi’u haddurno â lluniau o dduwdodau gleision, a’u cnau coco enfawr a’u gwaywffyn anferthol. Bu bron i’m llygaid sefyll allan o’m ben. Nid oedd ddim byd fel ystrydeb ffiaidd, felly. Ar ben hynny, doedd hi ddim yn rhy boeth na swnllyd, heblaw am y gorgan ddi-baid a lifai o’r cyrn sain fel oernad rhyw gath ar fin marw (ac roeddwn eisoes yn gwybod gormod am hynny, ond well imi gadw at y stori). Serch hynny, doedd dim gormod o fynychwyr (nid yr un enaid byw heblaw amdanaf fi) ac roedd digon o le i chwipio chwannen (fel petai), diolch byth, achos fy mod yn casáu mannau caeedig. Os bydda i’n teimlo’n anesmwyth, fe fydd tuedd i fi ymddwyn yn debyg i goblyn bach anwar, fydd yn bloeddio ac yn udo, a cheisio rhedeg i ffwrdd fel gwenci.Inside, the place was so tasteful. There were alien pieces of hand-craft everywhere; even the walls were decorated with pictures of blue divinities, and their huge coconuts and enormous spears. My eyes almost popped out of my head. It was nothing like a foul stereotype, then. Furthermore, it was neither too hot nor too noisy, apart from the ceaseless chanting that flowed from the loudspeakers like the screeching of some cat at death’s door (and I already knew too much about that, but I had better keep to the story). Despite that, there was not a glut of patrons (not a single living soul apart from me) and there was enough space to swing a cat (as it were), thank goodness, because I detest enclosed spaces. If I feel uneasy, there is a tendency for me to behave like an uncivilized imp, who shouts and wails, and tries to run off like the wind.
Yn unol â chyngor y fisir mawreddog, fe gefais i saig arbennig y tŷ sef “Dial yr Ymerawdwr” am ddecpunt ar hugain gan gynnwys tri chwrs a pheint. Nid craig o arian ydwyf erbyn hyn, ddim o bell ffordd, ac nid oeddwn i erbyn hynny ychwaith gan fy mod i newydd golli fy swydd yn y gwaith cemeg. Y mab a anwyd i rôt nid eiff byth i bum ceiniog, fel y meddant. Ond, roedd llawer o arian parod yn fy mhoced i ar ôl i fi dreulio’r bore’ma yn gwerthu hufen harddwch yn cynnwys ffwr cath a the mate, (hynny yw, math o drwyth a wneir o ddail llwyn Ilex paraguayensis) y tu allan i’r archfarchnad enfawr o’r enw Tesbyro. Roedd rhaid i fi wneud gwasanaeth cymunedol o ganlyniad i hynny ond stori hollol wahanol yw honno.In accordance with the imposing vizier’s advice, I had the house special, namely “Emperor’s Revenge” for thirty pounds including three courses and a pint. I am not made of money right now, not by a long chalk, nor was I was then either, as I had just lost my job in the chemical works. He who is born to fourpence will never achieve fivepence, as they say. But there was a lot of loose change in my pocket after I had spent that morning selling beauty cream containing cat fur and matte tea (that is, a type of infusion made from the leaves of the Ilex paraguayensis) outside the enormous supermarket called Tesbyro. I had to do community service as a result of that, but that’s a totally different story.
Fe wnes i ddechrau gyda chwrs cyntaf o selsig Morgannwg â sinsir, garlleg, a chwmin, dysgl o gawl cocos a gwymon, ynghyd â bara naan brith a chaws Caerffili a chyrens ynddo, ar gyfer llyncu’r diferion olaf. Roedd y cyfuniad o sawrau estronol fel symffoni ar daflod fy ngenau. Drwy’r amser roeddwn i’n dal i feddwl taw gormod o bwdin a dagith gi, ond na allwn ffrwyno fy chwant bwyd. Wedyn, ymwrthodais y cyrri malwod arferol, ac yn ei le, mwynheais gyrri cig eidion â tsilis sybachog, ychwanegol, a chwilboeth ar y cythraul ydoedd hefyd, am ei fod yn cynnwys puprennod poethaf y byd, sef “medelwr Carolina.” Sut y gwn i? Wel, fe’u gwerthir yn Nhesbyro, sydd y lle llai drwg i fynd i siopa, yn fy marn ostyngedig i.I started with a first course of Glamorganshire sausage with ginger, garlic, and cumin, a dish of cockle and seaweed soup, together with speckled naan bread containing Caerphilly cheese and currants, for gobbling down the last drops. The combination of strange odours was like a symphony on my palate. All the time, I kept on thinking that too much pudding chokes a dog, but I could not restrain my appetite. Then, I forewent the usual snail curry, and in its place I enjoyed beef curry with extra crinkly chillis, and devilish hot it was, too, as it contained the world’s hottest peppers, namely “Carolina huntsman.” How do I know? Well, they are sold in Tesbyro, which is the least bad place to go shopping, in my humble opinion.
Wedi hyn oll, bues o fewn y dim i drengi o syched, ac roeddwn i’n gorfod cael peint (neu ddau) o lagyr, o’r enw “Glas y Gorlan,” i ddiffodd y tân eiriasboeth yn fy ngheg. Cofiwch chi’n awr na byddaf yn yfed fel rheol ddim ond poteli bach o gwrw chwerw gwan fel “Paun Gwirion.” Ni bydd Enwen fy lojar yn gadael imi lymeitian ar unrhyw beth mwy meddwol os gall hi fy rhwystro. Ond ddyddiau a fu, ac yn enwedig yn yr ogof o londer honno, oedd yn dywyll a swynol, ni allwn i ddim peidio. ‘Neno'r mawredd, roedd y lagyr hwnnw cyn gryfed â gwenwyn y weddw ddu! Mewn gwynfyd, cwplais i’r pryd o fwyd gyda hufen iâ cnau’r India, a saws o ganel a chlof arno.After all this, I was on the verge of dying of thirst, and I had to have a pint (or two) of lager, called “Kingfisher,” to extinguish the scorching fire in my mouth. Remember now that I drink as a rule nothing but small bottles of bitter beer like “Mad Peacock.” Enwen my lodger won’t let me tipple on anything more intoxicating if she can stop me. But in days past, and in particular in that cave of delights that was dark and enchanting, I could not resist. Great Heavens, that lager was as strong as the black widow’s poison! In ecstasy, I finished the meal with nutmeg ice-cream and cinnamon and clove sauce.
Mor llawen â’r gog ar y gainc oeddwn, er bu bron i’m perfeddion ffrwydro. Ond o gofio hyn, rhaid i fi roi gair o rybudd i chi: byddwch yn ofalus wrth ddefnyddio’r cyfleusterau yno. Pan ddechreuodd fy ngholuddyn mawr chwyrnu fel ci’n sugno’r mêr o asgwrn suddlon, rhuthrais i’r tŷ bach, sy’n dwt ond yn bêr iawn, lle caeodd y drws yn glep y tu ôl i fi. Yn anffodus, aeth y clo yn sownd, ac ar ôl hanner awr o ymdrechu ar y sedd borslen, wedi’i dilyn gan awr o weiddi drwy dwll y clo, fe’m hachubwyd gan weinydd yn ei lifrai odidog. Ar ben hynny, oherwydd fy mhrofiad anesmwythol, roedd o’r pwys mwyaf imi dawelu fy nerfau carpiog. Ar unwaith, felly, fe chwafftiais ddysglaid o goffi Cymreig (mae hon yn cynnwys llawer mwy o wisgi, na choffi Gwyddelig cyffredin) ac wedyn, yn syth, un arall.I was as happy as a sand-boy, although my insides were almost exploding. But, while I remember this, I must give you a word of warning: be careful whilst using the conveniences there. When my large intestine began to growl like a dog sucking the marrow from a juicy bone, I rushed to the latrine, which is bijou but most agreeable, where the door slammed shut behind me. Unfortunately, the lock got stuck, and after half an hour’s effort on the porcelain seat, followed by an hour of shouting through the keyhole, I was saved by a waiter in his splendid uniform. Moreover, because of my disconcerting experience, it was of the greatest importance for me to calm my tattered nerves. At once, therefore, I despatched a cup of Welsh coffee (this contains much more whiskey that ordinary Irish coffee) and then straightaway, another.
Yn y pendraw, roeddwn yn cydganu nerth esgyrn fy mhen gyda’r gerddoriaeth gyfareddol gan fytheirio’n uchel. Fe gefais fy nghanmol i’r cymylau yn y Sansgrit coethaf am fod mor ddewr, siŵr o fod (dyna ichi iaith liwgar a mynegol). Rwy wedi bod wrthi hi’n dysgu am bethau fel gwyddorau ac arwyddluniau, ac ieithoedd marw fel Mesmes o Ethiopia, a Nyawaygi o Awstralia, a Pataxó Hã-Ha-Hãe o Frasil. Rwy’n breuddwydio am gyfieithu rhywbeth diddorol a diddanol i’r Gymraeg yn y dyfodol (“Hanes y Naw Walabi Ewn,” er enghraifft), ac rwy o fewn ychydig i lwyddo! Dyna ddysgu gydol oes ichi, onid ife? Ond digon am fy hobïau i.In the end, I was singing along at the top of my lungs with the enchanting music while belching loudly. I was praised to the heavens in the most refined Sanskrit for being so brave, probably (there’s a colourful and expressive language for you). I have been busy at it learning about things like alphabets and pictograms, and dead languages like Mesmes from Ethiopia, and Nyawaygi from Australia, and Pataxó Hã-Ha-Hãe from Brazil. I dream of translating something interesting and entertaining into Welsh in the future (“The Tale of the Nine Rude Wallabies,” for instance), and I’m close to succeeding! That’s life-long learning for you, isn’t it? But enough about my hobbies.
Fe’m danfonwyd i’r drws cyn pen dim gan y rheolwr a gadwasai lygad barcut arnaf trwy gydol y perfformiad swynol. Ac wrth gwrs fe fues i’n foesgar iawn pan ddangosodd y sieff ei gyllyll fwyaf miniog imi ar fy ffordd allan. Kali dduw dinistr a ŵyr beth fyddai wedi digwydd pe buaswn i wedi yfed “Teigr” neu “Cobra”! Mae’n well gennyf gathod nag adar, ond yr wyf yn ofni’r rhai mawr fel llewod ac yn y blaen, heb sôn am ymlusgiaid heb goesau! Mae walabïod (a adwaenir fel gor-gangarŵod) yn wych hefyd, ond tueddant i fod yn haerllug, os cânt y cyfle!I was shown to the door in no time by the manager who had kept and eagle eye on me throughout the magical performance. And of course I was very polite when the chef showed me his sharpest knife on my way out. Kali god of destruction knows what would have happened were I to have drunk “Tiger” or “Cobra”! I prefer cats to birds, but I’m frightened of large ones like lions and so on, not to mention legless reptiles! Wallabies (which are also known as dwarf-kangaroos) are great too, but they tend to be impudent if they get the chance!
Fe fyddwn i’n eich annog chi i gyd i fynd yno hefyd er mwyn drachtio’r awyrgylch anhraethadwy o sbeisiog. Mae’r lle ar gyrion y dref i lawr llwybr gefn rhwng mynwent fechan Teml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig (ac yno mae pencampwr dartiau o’r oes a fu o’r enw Lleu’n gorwedd dan y gro) a maes parcio Tesbyro. Nid oes ddim arwydd y tu allan iddo, felly bydd rhaid ichi ddilyn eich trwyn. Mae yna rywbeth at ddant pawb, os hoffwch bryd o fwyd gwynias sy’n seiliedig ar ymborth Cymreig gyda llond bwced o berlysiau. Fe gewch chi werth eich arian, a hwyl, ar yr un pryd, heb os nac oni bai. Gair i gall (heddychwr ydwyf, felly ni bydd ffon i’r anghall) – yfwch wydreidiau o ddŵr a thafelli o lemon ynddynt yn unig (cwrw yn y bol, twrw yn y pen, wedi’r cwbl!); peidiwch â chanu wrth gwafftio’ch cyri; a, myn Kali, osgowch y tsilis crych fel y pla!I would encourage you all to go there too in order to imbibe the indescribable spicy atmosphere. The place is on the outskirts of the town down a back alley between the small graveyard of the Temple of the Hidden Glory (and there under the gravel lies the champion darts-player from a former age named Lleu) and Tesbyro. There’s no sign outside it, so you’ll have to use your nose. There’s something there to everyone’s taste, if you like a red-hot meal which is based on Welsh foodstuffs with a bucketful of herbs. You’ll get your money’s worth, and have fun, at the same time, without a doubt. A word to the wise (I’m a pacifist, so there’s no stick for the unwise) – drink only glasses of water with slices of lemon in (beer in the belly, tumult in the head, after all!); don’t sing whilst quaffing your curry, and, by Kali, avoid the wrinkled chillis like the plague!


Pennod Tri: Mae Ffred yn Mynd i Siopa / Ffred Goes Shopping

Wel, helo ‘na bawb! Patrick sy ma. Beth am hyn? Nes i sefyll yr arholiad ar ben y Cwrs Sylfaen, ac roedd rhaid i fi siarad yn rhugl am bynciau fel Siopa, Bwyta Mas,  Fy Nheulu, Hobïau a Diddordebau, Fy Swydd Gyntaf, ac yn y blaen. Nes i lawer o waith wrth baratoi, gan gynnwys sgrifennu sgriptiau a’u dysgu nhw i gyd ar gof (wel, rhywbeth fel hynny, o leiaf). Ac rwy’n gallu dweud i fi fwynhau’r rhan hon o’r arholiad. Dyma beth a adroddais ar y dydd, gyda llawer o ddarnau ychwanegol. Mae Ffred Phantastig, sy’n dweud y stori yma, wedi dod yn ffrind mawr i fi erbyn hyn a gobeithio byddwch chi’n clywed mwy amdano yn y dyfodol. Defnyddiol oedd cael hyd i ffordd o fynegi llais doniol ac ysgafngalon. Licwn i sylwi ar arddull y darn, ac yn enwedig ar y sillafu. Fe welwch fy mod wedi sgrifennu fel rwy’n siarad — er enghraifft, “y nhad, yn mam, i ddysglaid o de, sa i, so fe, wi di bod” (“fy nhad, fy mam, ei ddysglaid o de, dwi ddim, dyw e ddim, rwy wedi bod”). A hefyd, nid ydw i wedi defnyddio llawer o gollnodau. Rwy wedi bod yn ystyried hyn yn astud, gan nad oedd arnaf eisiau creu “fforest o sillgollau,” ond eto i gyd ni ddymunwn neud pethau’n rhy anodd, chwaith. Rhaid dweud mod i newydd ddarllen “Un Nos Ola Leuad” ac ynddo lawer o iaith lafar, a thafodiaith, a llif yr ymwybod. Dyma’r llyfr gorau rwy wedi’i ddarllen yn y Gymraeg hyd yn hyn; yr hwn i ryfeddu ato’n llwyr. Dyma ddim ond f’arbrawf i: falle gallech chi ei ddarllen yn uchel er mwyn clywed llais Ffred!

Well, hello, everyone! Patrick here. What about this? I sat the exam at the end of the Sylfaen Course, and we needed to speak fluently about topics such as Shopping, Eating Out, My Family, Hobbies and Interests, My First Job, and so on. I did lots of work preparing, including writing scripts and learning them off by heart (well, something like that at least). And I can say I enjoyed that part of the exam. Here’s what I recited on the day, with lots of additional bits. Ffred Phantastig, who’s telling the story here, has become a great friend to me by now and I hope you’ll hear more about him in the future. It was useful to find a way of expressing a humorous and light-hearted voice. I’d like to comment on the style of the piece, and especially in the spelling. You’ll see that I’ve written like I speak — for example, “y nhad, yn mam, i ddysglaid o de, sa i, so fe, wi di bod” (“fy nhad [my dad], fy mam [my mum], ei ddysglaid o de [his cup of tea], dwi ddim [I don’t], dyw e ddim [he doesn’t], rwy wedi bod [I’ve been]”). And also, I haven’t used lots of apostrophes. I’ve been thinking acutely about this, because I didn’t want to create a “forest of apostrophes,” but then again I didn’t want to make things too difficult, either. It must be said that I’ve just read “Un Nos Ola Leuad,” which has lots of spoken language, and dialect, and stream of consciousness. This is the best book I’ve read in Welsh up to now, and one that’s completely wonderful.This is just my experiment: perhaps you could read it out loud in order to hear Ffred’s voice!

Wel, helo na bawb! Ffred Phantastig sy ma. Wi’n dysgu Cymraeg ers achau erbyn hyn ch’mod, wastad yn dysgu falle. Wi’n dod o Ganolbarth Cymru yn wreiddiol wrth gwrs. Yng Ngheredigion mae’r dre, ar bwys pwynt canolog Cymru yn ôl yr Arolwg Ordnans. Es i i weithio yn rhywle arall yn y pen draw (sa i’n gallu dweud ble, mae’n breifat) fel gwyddonydd. Achan arbennig dw i, ch’wel (fel dywed y nhad), ac o’n i’n arfer neud arbrofion cyn i fi gael tipyn bach o drafferth gyda’r swydd. Wedyn, des i adre i Gymru heulog flynyddoedd yn ôl pan gaeth cydweithiwr ddamwain yn y gweithle, ond ddim fi oedd ar fai, nac achosais i mo’r problemau chwaith. Peth o ddewin yn y labordy gemeg dw i, fe ddweda i wrthoch chi.Well, hello there everybody! It’s Ffred Phantastig here. I’ve been learning Welsh for ages now you know, always learning, perhaps. I come from Mid Wales originally of course, The town is in Ceredigion, near the centre-point of Wales according to the Ordnance Survey. I went to work somewhere else in the end (I can’t say where, it’s private) as a scientist. I’m a special boy you see (as my dad says), and I used to do experiments till I had a bit of trouble with the job. Then I came back to sunny Wales years ago when a co-worker had an accident in the workplace, but I wasn’t to blame, and I didn’t cause the problem either. I’m a bit of a wizard in the chemistry laboratory, I’ll tell you.
O’n i’n ceisio creu “elicsir ieuenctid,” w (wel, hufen harddu ar gyfer plorod a rhychau). Do’n i'n hunan ddim yn cael problem gyda’r dasg, ond oedd yr holl beth yn ofnadw, a dweud y gwir, pan ddes i â nghath ddu lwcus i mewn i’r lab a bwytaodd hi’r stwff yn lle i “Byrbrydau Titw” arferol. Bu bron iddi fynd yn anweladwy, fel ysbryd yn y tarth, mewn ffordd. Gaeth y Doethur da o’r enw Rhisiart Rhuddygl (a chemegydd anghyffredin ydy e hefyd) sioc aruthrol pan glywodd e sŵn rhywbeth na allai fe weld yn canu grwndi ar i ddesg, a thaflodd e i ddysglaid o de mate oer drosti. O, aeth y greadures fach yn wirion bost a neidio i’r pot o gemegion gan oernadu fel cyhyraeth. Aeth yr hylif seimllyd ym mhob man, ymlithrodd Rhisiart, a chwympo ar y nyfyn-ysbryd annwyl, gan regi bob yn ail air fel cwrcyn.I was trying to create an “elixir of life,” mun (well, beauty cream for spots and wrinkles). I myself didn’t have a problem with the task, but the whole thing was awful, to tell the truth, when I brought my lucky black cat into the lab and she ate all the stuff instead of her usual “Kitty Snacks.” She almost went invisible, like a ghost in the mist, in a way. The good Doctor named Richard Radish (who’s an extraordinarily good chemist, too) had a terrible shock when he heard the sound of something unseen purring on his desk, and threw his cup of cold maté tea over her. O, the little creature went bonkers and jumped into the pot of chemicals wailing like a banshee. The slimy liquid went everywhere, Richard slipped, and fell on my dear familiar spirit, swearing like a tom-cat and turning the air blue.
Sa i eisiau sgwrsio amdani, os wi’n hollol onest, mae'n ddigon i hala rhwng tramp a'i gwdyn. Ymhellach, sa i’n gallu siarad amdani, gan fod gorchymyn y llys yn fy ngwahardd i. Digon yw dweud i’r gath oedd wedi’i hanafu ar hap ailfagu blas at fwyd bellach, ond mae Dr Prisiart yn dal i aros oddi ar waith (fe ddwedwn i taw mitiso bant mae e) er i’w asennau ysig wella’n foddhaol o’r diwedd. Ar ôl hynny oedd raid i fi weithio mewn ysgol fel rhan o’r gwasanaeth cymuned, ond oedd yn rhy anodd a ges i broblem enfawr un dydd Sadwrn wedi bwyta cyri eithriadol o boeth y noson gynt (Jiw, wi’n dwlu ar gyri mawlod sbeislyd), ond stori arall yw hynny.I don’t want to chat on about it, if I’m totally honest; it’s enough to upset anyone. And more than that, I can’t talk about it, because the court order prevents me. It’s enough to say that the cat that was injured by accident has got her appetite back now, but Dr Prichard is still staying off work (I’d say that he’s mitching off), although his broken ribs healed satisfactorily in the end. After that, I had to work in a school as part of the community service, but it was too hard and I had an enormous problem one Saturday having eaten an exceptionally hot curry the night before (gosh, I love spicy snail curry), but that’s another story.
Ta be, wi’n byw gartre erbyn hyn ar fy mhen fy hunan yn nhŷ mawr ym Mrynfelin, gyda’n lojar (neu’n “lletywraig” a bod yn posh ac yn fanwl gywir ar yr un pryd) o’r enw Enwen. Mae’n ddiddorol iawn, mae’r enw’n golygu rhywbeth fel y llaeth lled sur sy’n aros yn y fuddai wedi corddi’r ymenyn. Menyw hyfryd yw hi, a’i chroen fel menyn. Wi’n teimlo fel sen i wedi nabod hi ar hyd yn oes, ch’wel. Sdim raid dweud mod i’n gorfod helpu Enwen yn y tŷ, wrth gwrs. So hi’n gofyn i fi neud llawer, achos bod hi’n datgan mod i’n “dderyn,” beth bynnag mae hynny’n olygu. Ond wedyn fe fydd hi’n dweud bod “adar o'r un lliw hedant i'r un lle,” felly bydd popeth yn iawn tra arhosa hi yma yn yn nyth cysurus, sbo.Anyway, I’m living at home now on my own in a big house in Brynfelin, with my lodger (or my “lettinglady” to be posh and totally accurate at the same time) called Enwen. It’s very interesting, the name means something like the rather sour milk that remains in the churn when you’ve churned the butter. She’s a lovely lady, and her skin’s like butter. I feel like I’ve known her all my life. Needless to say I have to help Enwen in the house, of course. She doesn’t ask me to do lots, because she declares that I’m a bit of a “bird,” whatever that means. But then she says that “birds of a feather flock together,” so everything’ll be OK while we stay here in our comfy nest, I s’pose.
Fe fydd hi’n gweiddi arna i dim ond os bachgen dwl fydda i. Hmm, drwy’r amser, te, mae hi’n fishi iawn! Naeth hi weiddi’r dydd o’r blaen pan gollais i’r crwban, a daethon ni o hyd iddo fe yn y peiriant golchi llestri sy’m yn gweithio slawer dydd. Diar, diar, oedd yn ddoniol ac yn drist ar yr un pryd, gan fod e’n trio gaeafgysgu. Oedd e’n lliw chwith erbyn ny, ac mae dal i fod yn wyrdd, er i fi drio beintio fe, ond naeth hynna mo'r tro, sa i’n gwybod pam. Sut bynnag, yn ôl i’r brif stori. Ambell waith, fe fydd angen i fi siopa. O, nefi bliw!She only shouts at me when I’m a silly boy. Hmm, all the time, then, she’s very busy! She shouted at me the other day when I lost the tortoise, and we found him in the dishwasher which hasn’t worked for a long time. Dear, dear, it was funny and sad at the same time, because he was trying to hibernate. He was a funny colour by then and he’s still green, although I tried to paint him, but that didn’t do the trick, I don’t know why. Anyway, back to the main story. Sometimes, I need to go shopping. O, Lordy!
Sa i’n lico siopa o gwbl. Yn wir, wi’n casáu siopa. Wi’n meddwl bod hyn achos bod yn mam yn arfer mynd â fi o gwmpas y ddinas pan o’n i’n ddim o beth. Bob dydd, mae’n debyg, fe fydden ni’n mynd i gannoedd ar gannoedd o siopau. Fe fyddwn i wedi mwynhau chwarae yn y parc sen i wedi gallu. O’n i mor ddiflas â’r peth mwya diflas yn y byd crwn cyfan, credwch chi fi. Oedd yn boeth, ac yn rhy swnllyd yn y siopau, ac oedd gormod o bobl a dim digon o le i symud. O’n i’n ddiawl bach ewn oedd yn sgrechain a llefain, a thrio rhedeg bant. Ww, wi’n teimlo fel ny eto, o bryd i'w gilydd, ond wi di dysgu bod raid i chi wynebu'r canlyniadau pryd bynnag yr â pethau o chwith. A wnelir liw nos a welir liw dydd, meddai y nhad, ac oedd e yn llygad i le yn i farn.I don’t like shopping at all. In fact, I hate shopping. I think that this is because my mum used to take me around the city when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. Every day, it seems, we’d go to hundreds and hundreds of shops. I’d have liked to play in the park if I could have. I was as bored as the most bored thing in the entire world, believe you me. It was hot, and too noisy in the shops, and there were too many people and not enough room to move. I was a cheeky little devil who screamed and cried and tried to run off. Oooh, I still feel like that, from time to time, but I’ve learned that you have to face the music whenever things go wrong. Whatever’s done by night is seen by day, said my dad, and he was quite right.
Unwaith, nes i ddianc, pan doedd mam ddim yn edrych, ac es i yn y lifft, lle nes i wthio i bob botwm. Aeth y lifft yn sownd, ac oedd angen arna i gael yn achub gan ddyn tân. Gŵr mawr cryf oedd e, ac yn gwisgo lifrai hyfryd. Oni bai amdano fe, fe fyddwn i yno o hyd. Wedi ny, oedd raid i fi gael y nghlymu yn dynn i fam gan gordyn, rhag ofn i fi ddianc unwaith to! A hefyd, wi’n dwlu ar ddiffoddwyr tân byth oddi ar hynny. Ac edrychwch arna i nawr, wedi tyfu lan yn ddyn tal, dewr. Falle galla i fod yn ddyn tân ryw ddydd fuan – daw'r dywediad ‘Daw dydd y bydd mawr y rhai bychain” i gof, wi’n meddwl. Fe fydda i’n codi llaw ar bob injan dân bob tro y gwela i un ohonyn nhw’n rhuthro lawr yn stryd ni a’i chorn yn canu’n uchel pan fydda i wedi rhoi’r tŷ ar dân.Once, I escaped, when mum wasn’t looking, and I went in the lift, where I pressed every button. The lift got stuck, and I needed to be rescued by a fireman. He was a big strong man, wearing a lovely uniform. If it wasn’t for him, I would still be there. After that I had to be attached tightly to mum by a cord, in case I escaped again! And also, I’ve loved firefighters ever since then. And look at me now that I’ve grown up into a tall brave man. Perhaps I can be a fireman someday soon – the saying “The day is coming when the little ones will be on top” comes to mind, I think. I wave at every fire engine every time one of them rushes down our street with its siren blaring loudly when I set the house on fire.
Felly, y nghas beth yw siopa, hyd yn oed nawr. Wel, ta beth, wi mewn oed nawr, siŵr iawn, ac weithiau, rhaid i fi fynd i siopa, lico neu beidio. Rhaid i ddyn fwyta, meddan nhw. Bydda i’n trio cynllunio taith i’r siopau pan fydd hi’n dawel, os wi’n gallu, ddim ar fore dydd Sadwrn yn bendant (mae da fi gofion brawychus am ny, ac wi’n deffro o hunllef gan chwythu amdani nawr ac yn y man, ond dyna stori hollol wahanol!). Gwna i restr fanwl o’r holl bethau bydda i eisiau prynu, a gobeithio galla i ddod o hyd i bopeth mewn un siop fawr, mewn archfarchnad, mewn gwirionedd.So, my most hated thing is shopping, even now. Well, anyway, I’m grown up now, sure enough, and sometimes, I must go shopping, like it or not. A man must eat, they say. I try to plan the trip to the shops when it’s quiet, if I can, not on Saturday mornings, definitely (I’ve got terrifying memories about that, and I wake up from a nightmare sweating about it now and then. but that’s a totally different story). I make a detailed list of all the things I want to buy, and hope I can find everything in one big shop, in a supermarket, if truth be told.
Tesbyro yw’r fan lleia drwg i siopa, a’i henw’n golygu “canu grwndi wrth i chi orwedd yng ngwres yr haul,” sa i’n deall pam. Ni waeth befo am ny. Wi’n lico archfarchnadoedd i ryw fesur, ch’wel, achos bod chi’n gallu chwarae gyda’r trolïau, gan sglefrio lan a lawr. Www, crwtyn mawr dw i to! Wel, unwaith yn ddyn, dwywaith yn blentyn yw’r ddihareb, ac wi’n cytuno’n llwyr. Ges i bryd o dafod gan dditectif y siop, unwaith neu ddwy, neu dair, a bod yn onest. Gorau po leia a ddywedir am ny te, ond oedd i lifrai’n ysblennydd. Serch ny, a i o gwmpas y lle uffernol yn yr un drefn bob tro, o'r naill ben i'r llall, cyn gynted â phosib! Ac fe fydda i’n cymryd arna i taw capel bychan ydy, ac yn llawn gwynt arogldarth a symbolau cyfrin.Tesbyro is the least bad place to shop, and its name means “purring while lying in the sun’s warmth,” I don’t understand why. Never mind about that. I like supermarkets to some extent, you see, as you can play with the trolleys, sliding up and down. Oooh, I’m still a big kid! Well, once a man, twice a child is the proverb, and I entirely agree. I had a telling off from the store detective once or twice, or three times, to be honest. Least said about that the better, but his uniform was resplendent. Despite that, I go around the hellish place in the same order every time, from one end to the other, as quickly as possible! And I pretend that it’s a little chapel, full of the aroma of incense and arcane symbols.
Ac wedyn, mynd ati bydda i, wedi’r cwbl, chwery mab noeth, ni chwery mab newynog. Fe ddechreua i gyda ffrwythau a llysiau (madarch a tsilis yn enwedig), wedyn bara, menyn a llaeth, wedyn grawnfwyd, ar ôl ny bwyd mewn tun (heb anghofio saws cyri), a ffynonellau protein fel toffw, cynhyrchion soia, neu fwydydd mycoprotein megis “Quorn.” Fe gwpla i da photeli bychain o gwrw chwerw fel “Paun Gwirion” a bocs o siocledi i Enwen. Ceisia i ddewis bocs sy’n llawn dop o siocledi blasus fel melysion Twrci, am na fydd hi’n bwyta’r un o’r rheiny, felly, galla i’u llowcio nhw i gyd. Fe fyddwn i’n defnyddio’r ddesg dalu helpu'ch hunan pe gallwn i, ond y tro diwetha nes i ny, naeth y peth ffrwydro. Gorfu i ni i gyd symud mas o’r lle tra oedd y dyn tân yn ymchwilio unwaith to – dyw rhai pethau byth yn newid, ydyn nhw?And then I go for it, after all, a naked boy plays but a hungry one doesn’t. I’ll begin with fruit and veg (mushrooms and chillis in particular), then bread, butter, and milk, then cereal, after that tinned food (not forgetting curry sauce), and sources of protein like tofu, soya products, or mycoprotein foods like “Quorn.” I finish with little bottles of bitter beer like “Mad Peacock” and a box of chocolates for Enwen. I try to choose a box that’s fill of tasty chocs like Turkish Delight, because she won’t eat a single one of those, so I can guzzle them all. I would use the self-service check-out desk if I could, but the last time I did that, the thing exploded. We all had to get out of the place while the fireman was investigating again – some things never change, do they?
Ta p’un i, dewisa i’r ciw byrrach, a gwena i ar y cynorthwywyr gwerthu’r un modd bob tro. Fe fyddan nhw’n gwisgo lifreion cywrain, yn y marn i, ond bydd rhai ohonyn nhw’n ddisgyblion chweched dosbarth sy’n cael plorod, trueiniaid bach. Fi sy biau rysáit a allai helpu gyda ny, o’n i’n gweithio arni pan ddaeth yn oes waith ffurfiol i ben ac wi’n deall tipyn bach am fyfyrwyr hefyd wedi gweithio am fis yn yr ysgol gythreulig na. Fe ddwedon nhw wrtha i i bod hi ar agor ar ddydd Sadwrn, ac wedyn, nes i ruthro i mewn ar ôl noson gyri. O dyna resyn o beth, ond gad dy lap achan, fel na fydd rhagor o drafferth a helynt!Whatever, I choose the shortest queue, and I smile at the sales assistant in the same way every time. They wear fine uniforms, in my opinion, and some of them are sixth-form pupils who’ve got spots, poor things. I’ve got a recipe that could help with that, I was working on it when my formal working life ended, and I understand a bit about students too having worked for a month in that infernal school. They told me it opened on Saturdays and then I rushed in after a curry-night. O there’s a shame, but button your lip, lad, so that there’ll be no more upset and anguish!
Licwn i’m gweithio yno (yn yr archfarchnad wrth bob rheswm) ond eto i gyd so fe’n bosib. Sa i’n ddigon clyfar gyda phobl, yn anffodus. Mae’n well da fi gathod na bodau dynol, sdim ots da fi, ond menyw reit sbesial yw Enwen. Felly, dyna sut wi’n mynd i siopa nawr heb ormod o broblem ac o ganlyniad wi wrth yn modd ac mor llawen â'r gog. Ond ar y llaw arall wi’n drist iawn achos mod i ddim wedi gyrru injan dân to – dim ond troli! Gan bwyll gowboi! Www, neno'r daioni, on’d yw'r amser yn mynd heibio'n gyflym! Falle byddwn ni’n sgwrsio cyn bo hir, mae na lawer o straeon eraill da fi. O gyda llaw, o ddifri, ddim yr un anifail gaeth i nafu wrth helpu gyda’r stori ma. Peidiwch â bod yn ddieithr da chi! Pob hwyl am y tro! Ffred.I wouldn’t like to work there (in the supermarket, to be sure) but then again it’s not possible. I’m not clever enough with people, unfortunately. I prefer cats over people, doesn’t bother me, but Enwen’s a real special woman. So, that’s how I go shopping now without too much of a problem, and as a result I’m delighted and as happy as a sandboy. But on the other hand I’m very sad because I haven’t driven a fire engine yet – only a trolley! Steady on cowboy! Ooooh, Good Heavens, doesn’t time fly! Perhaps we can chat again before long, I’ve got lots of other stories. O by the way, seriously, not a single animal was hurt helping with this story. Don’t be a stranger, will you? Cheers for the mo! Ffed.


Pennod Pedwar: Dan y Pinwydd / Under the Pines

Under the Pines

Under the Pines script

Henffych well, fy nghymrodyr ar daith ddarganfod bodolaeth! Dyma’r hen Ffed yn traethu unwaith to. Www, wi newydd ddarllen stori gan M Morgan o’r enw “Y Seiffr” yn ei lyfr “Kate Roberts a’r Ystlum (a dirgelion eraill)” (Y Lolfa, 2012). Mae’n ardderchog a llawn rhyfeddodau’ n wir! Nawr te, mae dirgelwch da fi hefyd, credwch neu beidio! Fel y gwyddoch rhai ohonoch chi, mae capel lleia’r byd yng Nghwm-ran ar bwys lle wi’n dod yn wreiddiol, o’r enw Teml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig. Maen nhw’n chwedleua i’r hen Lleu aros yma wedi’i frifo’n wael yn yr hen amser gynt. Wel, dyma newyddion cyffrous; fe wnaethon nhw ddarganfod llawysgrifau hynafol mewn jariau gwin af ffurf llestri pridd, ryw ddeunaw mlynedd yn ôl. Ar droad y ganrif, a throad y milflwyddiant ar ben hynny, ar ddechrau Oes y Dyfrwr yn ôl y nghyfrifon i. Beth oedd y fath bethau’n neud mewn capel dwn i’m (y jariau win, ch’mod — mae capeli’n llawn o ddogfennau annealladwy wrth gwrs).

Salutations, my comrades on existence’s journey of discovery! Here’s old Ffred holding forth once again. Oooh, I’ve just read a story by M Morgan called “The Cypher” in his book “Kate Roberts a’r Ystlum (a dirgelion eraill)” (Y Lolfa, 2012). It’s excellent and full of wonders indeed! Now then, I have a mystery too, believe it or not! As some of you will know, the smallest chapel in the world’s in Cwm-ran near where I come from originally. They spin the tale that old Lleu stayed there, terribly injured in days of yore. Well, here’s the exciting news: they discovered ancient manuscripts in earthenware wine-jars, about eighteen years ago. At the turn of the century, and turn of the millennium to boot, at the beginning of the Age of Aquarius according to my calculations. What such things were doing in a chapel I don’t know (the wine-jars, you know — chapels are full of incomprehensible documents of course).

Tyb pawb eraill oedd eu bod nhw’n ddynwarediad modern gan chwaraewyr casetiau. Doedd neb yn gallu’u darllen nhw. Mae’r llawysgrifen yn wael, fel sgriblan morgrug sy di bwyta asid (ond nage asid fformig, maen nhw’n llawn o hwnnw), ac mae’r holl beth yn edrych fel creon ar bapur menyn, llawn lluniau bach, symbolau o liw gwaed, a sgrifen o chwith, siŵr o fod. Wi di bod wrthi hi’n dysgu am bethau fel gwyddorau ac arwyddluniau, ac ieithoedd marw fel Mesmes o Ethiopia, a Nyawaygi o Awstralia, a Pataxó Hã-Ha-Hãe o Frasil. Wi di bod yn breuddwydio am gyfieithu rhywbeth o bwys, ond “nid datod cwlwm yw ei dorri” meddan nhw, beth bynnag mae hynny’n ei olygu. Felly yn hytrach na gweithio ar y llawysgrifau’u hunain, wi di bod yn aros am ysbrydoliaeth sydyn, ac wi o fewn ychydig i lwyddo. Hei, dyna ddysgu gydol oes i chi, on’d ife? Ond digon am yn hobïau i, dyma fraslun o’r gwaith mawr hyd yn hyn. Wi’n meddwl am “Dan y Pinwydd” fel y teitl, achos taw “Wil Kineythien aí” oedd e’n wreiddiol, sy’n golygu’r un peth…

Everybody else’s opinion was that they were modern counterfeits by pranksters. No-one could read them. The handwriting’s awful, like the scribbling of ants that have eaten acid (but not formic acid, they’re full of that), and the whole thing looks like crayon on grease-proof paper, full of little pictures, blood-coloured symbols, and mirror-writing, probably. I’ve gone at it to learn about things like alphabets and hieroglyphs, and dead languages like Mesmes from Ethiopia, and Nyawaygi from Australia, and Pataxó Hã-Ha-Hãe from Brazil. I’ve been dreaming about translating something important, but “you don’t undo a know by cutting it” as they say, whatever that means. So rather than working on the manuscripts themselves, I’ve been waiting for a flash of inspiration, and I’m near as damn it to succeeding. Hey that’s lifelong learning for you, isn’t it? But enough about my hobbies, here’s a sketch of the great work up to now. I’m thinking of “Under the Pines” as the title, because it was “Wil Kineythien aí” originally, which means the same thing…

F'Annwylaf Fêts! Fe fyddwn i’n fodlon ond i chi dreulio’r mymryn lleiaf o amser yn ‘y nghwmni i. Dim ond awr ro’n i’n gofyn i chi i’w threulio gyda fi. Ond ar ‘y mhen ‘yn hunan ydw i, yn sgwrsio â gwyntoedd cyfnewidiad, creulon a main, wrth i fi sgriblan yr epistol ‘ma ar frys. Felly ai llythyr neu ymson yw hyn? Dyw hi ddim o bwys. Mae’n teimlo fel rwy eisoes yma ers pedwar deg dydd a deugain noson. Rwy mor sychedig, ac yn ystyried difetha ‘y mywyd drwy neidio oddi ar y mynydd.My dearest Mates! I’d be content if only you passed the least bit of time in my company. Only an hour I asked you to spend with me. But I’m on my own, talking with the winds of change, cruel and biting, whilst I hurriedly scribble this epistle. So, is it a letter or a monologue? It’s not important. It feels like I’ve already been here for forty days and forty nights. I’m so thirsty, and considering ending my life by jumping off the mountain.
Fe fedrwn i fod yn geiliog yn clochdar ar yr haul, 'tae waeth am ‘ny, fyddwn i’m yn eich effro chi. Felly, bydda i’n hala’r neges ‘ma i’r gymrodoriaeth yn bell oddi yma yng Nghwm-ran, lle taw pawb yn y gymuned sydd â breintiau a chyfrifoldebau cyfartal. Mae ‘da fi gymrawd yno, Mair-Elen ydy’i henw hi, a dylai’r sgrôl ‘ma fod yn ddiogel, er taw tipyn bach o gwlt meudwyaidd ydy’r rhain, sy’n eithriadol o dduwiol. I could be a cock crowing at the sun, for that matter, I wouldn’t wake you. So, I’ll send this message to the commune far away from here, in Cwm-ran, where everyone in the commune has rights and corresponding privileges. I have a comrade there, Mary-Ellen’s her name, and this scroll should be safe, although that lot, who’re exceptionally devout, are a bit of a secretive cult.
Gyda llaw, byddwch â llygad ar eich ysgwydd am ŵr o'r llysenw 'Cythraul Grymus'. Dydych chi’m yn ei nabod e erbyn hyn, ond ges i hyd iddo fe ar daith hir, pan ‘naeth e gwympo oddi ar ei feic modur, a dyrnu ei ben yn erbyn y creigiau. Dyna lanc galluog iawn. Mae’n llawn i’r ymyl â syniadau chwyldroadol, ac rwy’n credu bydd yn helpu chi i roddi’r gair mas. Gobeithio na fydd hwnnw ddim yn fwy na llond ei Doc Martens yn y dyfodol. Amser a ddengys. By the way, keep your eyes skinned for a bloke nicknamed 'Balrog'. You don’t know him now, but I found him on a long journey, when he fell off his motorbike, and hit his head on the rocks. There’s a really gifted lad. He’s stuffed full of revolutionary ideas, and I believe he’ll help you to spread the word. I do hope he won’t be too big for his Doc Martens in the future. Time will tell.
Mewn gwirionedd, rwy wedi blino’n lân. Wedi’r cwbl, rhwng yr holl deithio, a’r siarad cyhoeddus, dwi ‘di bod yn gweithio fel yr Andros. Rhaid i fi gael uffern o noson dda o orffwys. Roedd difyrru’r miloedd mor anodd â thynnu gwaed o garreg heb sôn am y trefi lle ro’n nhw eisiau i ni roi cwrw a fodca iddyn nhw yn lle poteli o ddŵr. ‘Rarglwydd! Man a man a mynci melyn i fi fwydo'r miloedd o bobl ar yr ŵyl rydd y penwythnos 'na. Ecstasi ro'n nhw'i eisiau, ond yn well ha hynny, miwsig gorawenus a dawnsio gwyllt a gaethon nhw drwy gydol y nos! Nage trechaf yw treisied; dim ond hyn ro’n i eisiau ei ddweud; ac y dylen nhw rannu’r cariad yn deg, hefyd, er mwyn ‘neud y ddaear gron yn fan well i fyw ynddi. In truth, I’m knackered. After all, what with all the travelling, and the public speaking, I’ve been working like the Devil. I have to get one hell of a good night’s rest. Entertaining the masses was as hard as getting blood from a stone not to mention the towns where they wanted us to give them beer and vodka instead of bottles of water. Good Lord! I might as well have fed the thousands of people at the free festival that weekend. Ecstasy they wanted, but better than that, bangin' music and mental dancing was what they got, all night long! Might isn’t right, that’s all I wanted to say; and that they should share the love freely, too, to make the whole world a better place to live in.
Ar y llaw arall, mewn mannau eraill, ro’n nhw’n llyncu ‘y ngeiriau. Serch ‘ny, dwi’m yn gallu deall pam bues i’n gorfod mynd i mewn i’r ddinas ar gefn ceffyl gwyn (f (fel petai, fan wen yn llawn o offer sain a goleuo oedd hi, reit?), wrth iddyn nhw daflu canghennau coed pinwydd ar yr heol o ‘mlaen i. Pe celwn i fantell borffor, a choron, a theyrnwialen, byddwn wedi ymddangos yn ymherodr, yn frenin neu artist rap rhwysgfawr, neu focsiwr yn dod i mewn i'r ring. Ond allwn i'm peidio meddwl taw wrth i rhai ohonyn nhw ysgubo'r fordd, rhai eraill oedd yn paratoi coelcerth angladdol fel nâi'r Cenhedloedd Duon. Ac wedyn, roedd y trefnwyr fysslyd i gyd yn pydru arni, gan dreio'n mwytho i, gan 'molchi i a'n sychu i â lliain, ac wedyn oelio 'nghorff i cyn chwistrellu afftyrsief drewllyd ym mhobman. Ro'n i'n dychmygu'r hen ddydiau yn yr Aifft neu rywbeth. Roedd fel 'swn i ‘di marw, a bydden nhw’n ‘mharatoi i cyn i fi gael ‘y nghladdu. A dyna oedd pawb yn gweiddi “Ti yw'r gorau! Ein harwr! Duw wyt ti" pan ddes i mas ar y llwyfan cyn dechrau perfformio. Dyn ni i gyd yn feibion i fenywod, a merched i ddynion, pob un ohonyn nhw sydd yr un mor deilwng, on’d ife? Felly dyn a ŵyr beth ro’n nhw’n feddwl.On the other hand, in other places, they hung on my every word. Despite that, I can’t understand why I had to go into the city on the back of a white horse (as it were, it was a white van full of sound and lighting equipment, right?), while they threw pine branches on the street in front of me. If I’d had a purple cloak, and a crown, and a sceptre, I would have looked like an emperor, a king or a pompous rap artist, or a boxer entering the ring. But I couldn't help thinking that while some of them were sweeping the way, others were preparing a funeral pyre like the Vikings used to. And then, all the fussy organisers were beavering about, trying to pamper me, washing me down and drying me off, and oiling up my body, before spraying stinky aftershave everywhere. I was imagining the old days in Egypt or something. It was as if I’d died, and they were preparing me before I was buried. And there was everyone shouting out“You're the best! Our hero! You're a god!" when I came out in the stage before starting to perform. We’re all sons of women, and daughters of men, every one of who’s just as deserving, aren’t they? So goodness knows what they meant.
Beth oedd yn bod? Rhyw arfer hynafol, siŵr o fod. Dylwn i fod wedi ‘neud sylw eiriau’r athrawon yn yr ysgol, ond hyd yn oed pan o’n i’n grwt neis-neis, rai blynyddoedd yn ôl, fe wn i’r Hen Lenyddiaeth yn well na nhw. ‘Nawn i byth wrando! Sut bynnag, nage tywysog y byd ‘ma ydw i’n bendant. Cwrddais i â phwysigyn seimlyd a arddelai’r anrhydedd hwnnw pan fues ar encil yn y diffeithdir. Creadur sy’n gyfan gwbl wahanol i unrhyw ddyn ydoedd, neidr gudd go iawn, ‘sdim dwywaith ynghylch ‘ny. Fe sebonodd fi ar ffurf offeiriad coch, gyda gweniaith y saith swynwr seraffaidd o’r llên gêl, ond yn ofer, a ‘nes i wrthsefyll gyda chymorth y delw-addolwyr dioglyd, a ddaeth i i roi help llaw i fi yn amser ‘y nhrallod. Gwell yr ellyll a wyddys na’r cythreuliaid nad adweinir, falle.What was the problem? Some ancient custom, probably I should’ve taken notice of the teachers' words in school, but even when I was a finicky kid, some years back, I knew the Ancient Literature better than them. I’d never listen! Anyhow, I’m definitely not prince of this world. I met some slimy bigwig who claimed that honour when I was on retreat in the desert. He was a creature totally different from any human being, a real snake in the grass, no two ways about it. He soft-soaped me in the form of a red priest, with the blandishments of the seven seraphic sorcerers of the hidden lore, but in vain, and I resisted with the help of the indolent idolaters, who came to my aid in my hour of need. Better the devil you know than the demons you don’t recognize, perhaps.
A dyma ni i gyd, ar yr ystad ar droed Mynydd y Pinwydd, lle mae’r teirw dur yn huno dros nos. Ysgafnu’r baich yw ei rannu, yn wir, ond mae’n beth enbyd, on’d ydy, pan na fydd hyd yn oed ffrindiau gorau boi’n gallu cadw’n effro wrth iddo geisio datrys problemau’r byd. O leia’r peiriannau fyddai’n cadw sŵn dim ond ‘sen nhw’n gweithio. Chi sy’n rhochian fel moch wrth gysgu! Deirgwaith rwy wedi cerdded heibio i chi, y llanciau cefn gwlad hir eich cwsg, ond atebodd neb ddim gair. Mwya’r gresyn nad o’ch chi yma, ro’n i wedi gobeithio am well, ond tra ydy’r enaid yn fodlon, mae’r cnawd yn wael.And here we all are, on the estate at the foot of the Pine Mountain, where the bulldozers are sleeping overnight. A burden shared is a burden halved, to be true, but it’s an awful thing, isn’t it, when even a boy’s best friends can’t stay awake while he tries to solve the world’s problems. At least the machines would only be making a din if they were working. You lot are snorting like pigs while you sleep! Three times I’ve walked by you, you sleeping-beauty country lads, but no-one answered a word. A great pity that you weren’t here, I’d hoped for better, but while the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.
Rwy ‘di bod yn meddwl tybed beth i’w wneud nesaf, ac wedi dod i benderfyniad erbyn hyn. Ddim heddychwr di-asgwrn-cefn ydw i, y nefoedd wen, ond alla i’m cefnogi trais gwaedlyd chwaith. Gweddus a phleserus yw trengi tros eich mamwlad, ebe rhywun, rywbryd, ond dwi’n meddwl bod pentwr o hen sothach yw hyn. Rwy’n mynd i gwrdd â’r awdurdodau yn hwyrach heno, a gobeithio nad taflu ‘y ngemau o flaen y moch a wna i. Na ddeffro’r ci sy’n cysgu, reit? Ond, gadwech i ni weld beth fydd yn digwydd. Mae’n well ‘da fi hynny na gorfod dadlau gyda’r gormeswyr, yr hen foch budr! Mae 'yn ffrind bore oes wedi trefnu popeth, ac mae’n falch ar y diawl ei hun. Fel ‘y nghysgod i ydy a dweud y gwir, ond mae’n lico chwarae rhan yr ysbïwr, ac fe ‘naiff unrhyw beth i roi’i llaw ar fudrelw. Dylai fe fod yma cyn hir.I’ve been thinking what to do next, and I’ve come to a decision now. I’m no spineless pacifist, heavens above, but I can’t support bloody violence either. It’s right and fitting to die for your homeland, someone said, sometime, but I think that that’s a pile of old rubbish. I’m going to meet the authorities later tonight, and I hope I shan’t be casting my pearls before swine. Don’t wake a sleeping dog, right? But, let’s see what happens. I’d prefer that that having to debate with the oppressors, the dirty old swine! My lifelong buddy has arranged everything, and he’s pleased as Punch himself. He’s like my shadow, to tell the truth, but he likes to play the spy, and he’ll do anything to get his hands on filthy lucre. He should be here before long.
Ac eto i gyd, fe ddaw’r gofid pennaf pan wy’n gofyn i’m hun: ydw i’n wrthryfelgar heb glem, wedi’r cyfan? Ni dda gen i ‘mo’r crefyddau cyfundrefnol, na’n hun ni, na’r rhai sy’n perthyn i’r bobl ddieithr. Allwn i’m rhwystro ‘yn hun rhag rhoi cyfrif da ohono ‘yn hunan pan ‘naethon nhw ddechrau gwerthu yn Nheml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig fel petai’n ddim mwy na'r farchnadfa yn y Ddinas Fawr, Ddrwg. (Ac yno mae ystrywiau’r swynwyr yn hud-ddenu meddwl y boblogaeth gyda bara a chwaraeon, fel y maen nhw’n dilyn y llwybr briallog i’r Fall.) Fe’u gorfodwyd i godi weiren bigog er mwyn ‘y nghadw oddi ar y to, gan esgus iddyn nhw ddymuno dychryn y brain pygddu ymaith. O sut byddai’r waliau’n wylo pe gwyddent beth oedd yn digwydd. And then again, the chief trouble comes when I ask myself: am I a rebel without a clue, after all? I don’t care for organized religions, neither our own, nor those that belong to foreigners. I couldn’t stop myself from giving a good account of myself when they started selling bric-a-brac in the Temple of the Hidden Glory as if it were no more than than the marketplace in the Big, Bad City. (And there the sorcerers’ whiles beguile the mind of the populace with bread and circuses, so that they follow the primrose path to Perdition.) They were forced to put up barbed wire to keep me off the roof, pretending they wanted to scare off the ravens. Oh, how would the walls wail if they knew what was happening.
Edrychwch, dyma ‘y ngolwg ar y byd, yn blwmp ac yn blaen. Mae’r Dysgeidiaethau’n dweud taw duwiau ydych chi i gyd. Sut felly? Rhaid i chi gadarnhau taw cariad yw Ffynhonnell Popeth. A beth, wedyn, yw cariad? Ddim rhyw endid haniaethol, na chysgod wedi’i ddyfeisio gan yr athronwyr o Roeg ‘mo fe. Yn hytrach, cyflwr meddwl ydy, pan fyddwch yn barod i roi’ch bywyd er mwyn bodau eraill gyda’r parodrwydd mwyaf. Ar y Ddaear daw teyrnas cariad, y Nw Yrth hwn, yn gynt nag y dychmygwch. Look, here’s my view of the world, straight up. The Teachings say that you lot are all Gods. How so? You have to stress that love is the Source of Everything. And what, then, is love? It’s not some abstract entity, nor a phantom made up by the Greek philosophers. Rather, it’s a state of mind, when you are prepared to give your life for the sake of other beings, with the greatest of readiness. On the Earth shall come the kingdom of love, this Nw Yrth, sooner that you imagine.
Nage breuddwyd ryw hen hipi ‘mo fe ‘mo fe, na gwlad byth bythoedd, na lle gwacsaw, na gwlad hud a lledrith. Mae’n fangre sy’n cynnig realiti yn y fan a’r lle, ac sy’n ein rhyddhau ni o ddelweddau chwant a’n haflonyddai ni fel arall mewn tir diffaith dyfodol heb obaith. Bydd cyrraedd yno’n dalcen caled a alwa am hunanddisgyblaeth a phenderfyniad. Fi sy’n dangos y ffordd; fi sy’n agor y borth; ond sa i’n gallu gorfodi pobl i fynd drwyddo. Dim ond eisiau dangos i chi sut i rannu’r cariad dw i. Dyna sut rydyn ni’n mynd yn nes at y Ffynhonnell, ac at ein gilydd, wel yn ‘y nhyb i, petawn i’n marw, â’m llaw ar ‘y nghalon.It’s not the dream of some old hippy, nor a never-never land, nor a trifling place, nor a land of enchantment. It’s a location that offers reality right then and there, and which frees us from the images of want that would vex us in a hopeless future wasteland. It’ll be hard work getting there, which calls for self-discipline and determination. It’s me who shows the way, I who open the gate, but I can’t force people to go through. I only want to show you how to share the love. That's how we get closer to the Source, and to each other, well, in my opinion, upon my word, and hand on heart.
A phawb sy'n caru yn gallu dod i mewn. A byddwn nhw’n ‘neud hyn drwy gerdded yn ôl ‘y nhraed i, ymdrechu ymdrech deg, a siarad â’u calonnau dan glywed hefyd. Felly, na farnwch fel y rhai sy wedi'u hanafu'n wael, sy’n cynnig dim ond afal derw a finegr i’w hyfed, a pheidiwch dadansoddi pethau ormod. Carwch, carwch o waelod eich calon, achos bod cariad bob amser yn amddiffyn, wastad yn credu, o hyd yn gobeithio, bob adeg yn dal ati. Pan ddaw’r deyrnas, bydd bustl y moroedd yn corddi, a hollta cnawd y ddaear, a’r lien sy’n ein cuddio ni rhag cyfrinachau'r Deml a rwygir i lawr. And everyone who loves can come in. And they’ll do this by following in my footsteps, fighting the good fight, and talking to their hearts whilst listening too. So, don’t judge like those who've been badly damaged, who offer only gall and vinegar to drink, and don’t over-analyse things. Love, love from the bottom of your hearts, because love always protects, always believes, always hopes, always keeps going. When the kingdom comes, the seas’ bile shall boil, and the earth’s flesh shall rend, and the veil that hides us from the secrets of the Temple shall be rent asunder.
Yn wir, ges i flas ar y ddiod neithiwr, yn y parti uwchben y dafarn. Roedd arna i angen boddi ‘yn – ansicrwydd – er ‘mod i’n ymbil ar rywun i fynd â’r ddysgl oddi wrtha i. Dwi ‘di bod yn cael gweledigaethau ers ‘ny, ac yffach cols, ma’ hi’n gwasgu arna i, os wy’n onest. Ma’n dwym yma, dwi’n chwysu’n stecs, ac ma’ ‘ngwaed i’n berwi. Bron ag wylo dagrau o waed dw i. Oni bai am yr hunanamheuaeth, ac arswyd canlyniadau anhysbys, fe allwn i egluro i chi sut i ‘neud yr aberth penodol. ‘Swn i ond yn gallu sefyll yn ‘yn rhych! Truly, I had a skinful last night, in the party above the pub. I needed to drown my – insecurity – although I was begging someone to take the cup away from me. I’ve been having visions since then, and hellfire, it’s pressing down on me, if I’m honest. It’s warm here, I’m sweating buckets, and my blood’s boiling. I’m almost crying tears of blood. If it wasn’t for the self-doubt, and the fear of unknown consequences, I would explain to you how to make the appropriate sacrifice. If only I could stand my ground!
Rhaid i fi fynd nawr. Wi’n meddwl ‘mod i’n clywed aelodau’r Pwyllgor yn dynesu. Falle bydda i bant am gryn amser i ddod, ond cofiwch chi: ble bynnag yr ewch, yno y bydda i, yn eich llygadu chi â llygaid treiddgar cigfran reibus. Ac o ganlyniad i hyn, bydda i wastad yn eich meddyliau a’ch cofion. Afraid dweud hyn: fe fydda i ‘nôl, wi’n addo ar ‘y mheth mawr! I have to go now. I think I hear the members of the Committee approaching. Perhaps I’ll be away for quite some time to come, but you lot remember: wherever you go, there I’ll be, staring down on you with the piercing eyes of a ravenous raven. And as a result of this, I’ll always be in your minds and your memories. No need to say this: I’ll be back, I promise with all my might!
Ond ma’ arna i ofn erchyll. Pam ma’ heddlu yma? Wi’n teimlo’n sâl ac yn dychryn am ‘yn hoedl. Ma’ ‘ngwaed i wedi mynd i rewi nawr, wi’n digalonni, a ‘sdim ysbryd yno i mwyach. Dymuna i taw rhyw lu arallfydol ddôi i ‘nghipio i oddi ar safnau angau a mynd â fi i ddiogelwch, ond nid dyna sut ma’ pethau’n gweithio i lawr fan hyn, gwaetha’r modd. Rhywun a rô nerth i fi ‘neud y cwbl sy eisiau. O Dad, fy Nhad, ble rwyt ti? Wel, mae'r pen-bandit yma o'r diwedda, diolch byth —But I’m terribly frightened. Why are there police here? I feel sick and I’m terrified for my life. My blood’s frozen now, I’m losing heart, there’s no spirit in my any more. I want some otherworldly host to snatch me from death’s jaws and take me to safety, but that’s not how things work down here, more’s the pity. Someone give me strength to do all that’s needed. O Dad, my Dad, where are you? Well, the big chief's here at last, thank goodness —

Wel dyna’r gorau alla i neud y funud ma, ond trist dweud falle taw mwy na thebyg ffugiad yw’r peth wedi’r cwbl, wedi’i neud gan y bachgen trwblus hwn o’r Clinig lan y bryn a fu farw tua’r amser gaeth y jariau’u darganfod. Ch’wel, ‘Daa·hweeth Oh·fé’ oedd yr enw ar gefn y tudalennau, hyd y gwn i. Hynny yw, ‘David Baxter’ o ‘daa’ (‘gwastad’), ‘hweeth’ (‘annwyl’), ‘ofhs’ (‘toes’), a ‘fé’ (‘tân’). Dyna’r llanc a oedd yn arfer cymryd arno fe taw sowldiwr o’r Balcanau oedd e, ac a achosai gymaint o broblemau! Wastad yn cymryd sylweddau meddwol, a dreifo’n danjerus, a rhoi popeth ar dân. A’r chwilod dieflig ym mhobman, ‘Resgob, w! Chep-er, chep-er, chep-er! Digon i yrru dyn o’i go! Ro’n nhw’n greaduriaid arallfydol o blaned hollol wahanol, fe ddywedai.

Well that’s the best I could do right now, but sad to say that more than likely the things a forgery, after all, made by that troubled boy from the Clinic up the hill who died about the time the jars were discovered. You see, ‘Daa·hweeth Oh·fé’ was the name on the back of the pages, as far as I know. That is, ‘David Baxter’ from ‘daa’ (‘constant’), ‘hweeth’ (‘beloved’), ‘ofhs’ (‘dough’), a ‘fé’ (‘fire’). That’s the lad who always used to pretend he was a soldier from the Balkans, and who caused so many problems! Always taking intoxicating substances, and driving dangerously, and setting things on fire. And the bloody beetles everywhere, Lordy, mun! Chapter, chapter, chapter! Enough to drive a man mental! They were extra-terrestrial creatures from a totally different planet he said.

Ac wedyn roedd y torri i mewn i bobman, a’r rafio ym mherfeddion y nos (dawnsio a chyffuriau heb os), a’r neud difrod maleisus yn Neuadd y Delweddau gyda’i ffrind a dynniff gartwnau ffug-wy (Steff neu rywbeth oedd ei enw? Dyn od rywsut na’i gilydd, ta be, ond sa i’n gallu gosod y mys ar y dolur o ran be sy’n bod arno fe). Ond llanc mor garedig oedd e, sdim dwywaith amdani. Fe fyddai’n helpu chi bob amser heb raid gofyn Pŵr dab ag e, ar ôl popeth roedd e wedi mynd drwyddo! Er gwaetha’r cam-drin roedd e fel rhyw hen hipi, llawn heddwch a chariad eto. Rhedeg bant a wnaeth e, am rai dyddiau, jyst cyn y, y tân. Rhyw brosiect rhiniol, meddai fe. Hud a lledrith, “i adael ei ôl ar y dyfodol.” Fe fyddai wedi bod yn dad digon da, sai fe wedi ymdawelu dipyn. David Balrog Procter. Dyna’r enw rhyfedd ar y mab sy’n dyfod i oed bellach. ond dyna ffordd y byd i chi. Mae’n neud i chi feddwl, on’d ydy, sbo. Hmm. Iawn, wi’n eitha di-hwyl nawr. Rhaid i fi fynd i orffwys mewn stafell dywyll. Wela i chi cyn hir, gobeithio! Ffred.

And then there was the breaking in everywhere, and the raving in the dead of night (dancing and drugs no doubt), and the malicious damage in the Hall of the Images with his friend who draws sci-fi cartoons (Steff or something was his name? Odd man somehow, anyway, but I can’t put my finger on what his problem is). But he was such a kind lad, no two ways about it. He would always help you without having to ask. Poor dab, after everything he’d been through! Despite the mistreatment he was like some old hippy, still full of peace and love. Ran off for a few days he did, just before the, the fire. Some mysterious project he said. Hocus-pocus, “leaving his mark on the future.” He would’ve been a good enough dad, if he’d calmed down a bit. David Balrog Procter. That’s the strange name of the son who’s coming of age now but that’s the way of the world for you. It makes you think, doesn’t it, I s’pose. Hmm. Right, I’m rather down now. Got to go to lie down in a dark room. See you before long, I hope! Ffred.


Pennod Pump: Urddo (Lleisiau 1) / Initiation (Voices 1)

Strange landscape

Y mae Theori Gemau’n sôn am ‘Cysgod Hir y Dyfodol,’ sydd yn enw ar y ffaith y bydd pobl yn cydweithio os ydynt yn coelio y cânt naill ai wobr neu gosb, ryw ddydd a ddaw, o ganlyniad i sut yr ymddwynant yn rheolaidd yn y cyfamser. Gall hyn fod yn dda iawn mewn llawer o sefyllfaoedd yn y byd go iawn. Ond mewn cyferbyniad, dychmygwch eich bod newydd dderbyn y newyddion eich bod i farw yn y dyfodol agos. Yn ddiau y deuech o hyd i lawer ffordd o foddio pob chwant o’r eiddoch cyn ichi ddiosg y corff priddlyd, ac i gythraul â gweddill y byd. Hynny yw, fe dueddwch i fentro ar wneud pethau sy’n risg uchel, ond yn golled uchel ar yr un pryd. Ac yn gyffredinol dim ond ychydig o’r fath ymddygiad a bery ichi drengi hyd yn oed yn gynharach nag y dylech. Felly cleddyf daufiniog yw’r Cysgod hwn. Mae’n dda, ac eithrio pan yw’n ddrwg.

Game Theory talks about the ‘Long Shadow of the Future,’ which is a name for the fact that people cooperate if they believe they will receive either a reward or a penalty, at some point in the future, as a result of how they regularly behave in the meantime. This can be very good in many situations in the real world. But counter to this, imagine you have just received the news that you are to die in the near future. Doubtless you could find many ways of satisfying every one of your desires before you put off the mortal flesh, and to hell with the rest of the world. That is, you would tend to take a chance on doing things that are high-risk, but high-loss at the same time. And in general only a little such behaviour causes you to perish even earlier than you should. Thus this Shadow is a two-edged sword. It is good, except when it is bad.

Glasiad dydd ydoedd, fore Iau'r ail ar hugain o Fehefin 1967 hynny yw Canol Haf (er nad dygwyl Ieuan Fedyddiwr), yn ystod Haf Cariad, ac fe ddigwyddai ‘lleuad fefus’ y noson honno hefyd (fel y dywed brodorion cysefin cyfandir Gogledd America yn eu hieithoedd amryfal eu hunain). A dyna oeddwn yn laslanc wedi’i amddifadu, na charasai lawer o gwbl, yn Nheml y Gogoniant Cuddiedig i gael fy holi gan Aelodau Llawn Urdd Cyfrinachau, fel petawn yn sefyll arholiad.It was daybreak, Thursday morning the twenty-second of June 1967 that is Midsummer Day (although not the Feast of St John the Baptist), during the Summer of Love, and a ‘strawberry moon’ would occur that night too (as the native inhabitants of the continent of North America say in their own various languages). And there I was, an orphaned youth, who had not done much loving at all, in the Temple of the Hidden Glory to be examined by the Full Members of the Guild of Secrets as if I were sitting an examination.
Ac yn wir, prawf llythrennol oedd hwn, lle y byddai raid i’r ymgeisydd sefyll trwy gydol yr ymbil, gan wisgo dim ond tiwnig hir o hesian wedi’i channu’n wyn fel y galchen, a gwregys gwyrdd am ei wasg, wrth areithio’n rhugl gan ddefnyddio brawddegau erchyll o gymhleth mewn Cymraeg hynafol. Fe fyddai raid chwedleua fel y cyfarwyddiaid ddyddiau gynt, gan alw ar i’r Hen Ddienyddiau swyno’r gynulleidfa, a thrwy wneuthur hynny efe a rwydai’u meddyliau, a dwyn eu heneidiau, er cymaint fyddai angerdd geiriau’r darpar Ddewin.And indeed, this was a literal test, where the candidate would have to stand throughout the entreaty, wearing but a long tunic of hessian, bleached white as chalk, with a green belt about his waist, whilst orating fluently, using sentences of terrible complexity in ancient Welsh.There would be need to tell tales like the story-weaverrs in days past, calling on the Ancients of Days to enchant the audience, and by doing that we would entrap their minds, and steal their souls, so great would be the passion of the prospective Magus’ words.
Tra oedd yr Hen Feistres (ac megis rhyw gyfuniad o Blodeuwedd ac Arianrhod a’r Arglwyddes Macbeth ydoedd) yn grymial uwch ein pennau ar ei phulpud fel fersiwn benywaidd y Du Trahaus o lenyddiaeth i ddod, a Hudolion eraill yr Urdd o’r ddeutu, arogl cryfhaol coedwyrdd a araf lanwai’n hysgyfaint o ddysgl ar ben trybedd yng nghanol y cylch cysegredig. Hyhi a oedd am i mi ddioddef y ddefod urddo, a gogoneddus oedd yr hen wrones a wisgai ŵn hir ysgarlad ac arno sêr o aur, a het drichorn, ddu, ac yn ei llaw oedd hudlath o binwydd dros chwe throedfedd. Erbyn hynny cigyddes barchus ydoedd, a sêr-ddewin amatur yn achwaneg i hynny. Ac felly y cychwynnais ar f’araith, ac ymaith â ni ar adenydd gwynt main a gwawdus fy melltithiad, heb allu dal sylw ar ddim ar wahân i’r geiriau gan gyflymed yr oeddem yn hedeg —Whilst the Old Mistress (and she was like some combination of Blodeuwedd and Arianrhod and Lady Macbeth) muttered above us in his pulpit like a female version of the Du Traheus of literature to come, with the other Wizards of the Guild on both sides, the refreshing odour of wintergreen slowly filled our lungs from a bowl on top of a tripod in the middle of the sacred circle. It was she who wanted me to undergo the initiation ceremony, and the old heroine was magnificent, garbed in a long scarlet gown with golden stars, and a black, tricorn hat, and in her hand a magic staff of pinewood over six feet long. By then she was a respected butcher, and an amateur astrologer in addition to that. And so I began my declamation, and off we went like on the wings of the keen and scornful wind of my imprecation, unable to attend to anything apart from the worlds as we were flying so rapidly —
“Gosodwyd i lawr nad oedd neb na allai siarad yr Heniaith i ddal unrhyw swydd uchel yn yr Urdd hon, ac felly yr wyf wedi manwl astudio’r iaith a’r defodau i gyd. Noeth y deuthum o groth fy mam, a noeth y dychwelaf yno, ond fel y’i dywedir, fe ddylai’r plant fod yn fodlon i wisgo’r un dillad ag a wisgasai eu tadau o’u blaenau. Yma safaf o’ch blaenau chwi, a chennyf fi wisg foel newyddian yr Urdd amdanaf, ac fel hyn y llefaraf â chwi. Ond yr wyf wedi tramgwyddo’n groes i’r hyfforddiant a roddir i’r rhai sydd yn cychwyn ar y llwybrau nefol y gwybyddai Pharoaid yr Hen Aifft amdanynt. Yr wyf wedi llefaru geiriau nerthol, ac nid dysgwr mohonof fi mwyach. Ai oherwydd fy nghyfeillion ydych, y’m clywch chi’n ddwys, ynteu oblegid fy mod wedi dod yn drechaf ar yr hen gyfrinachau, ac yr ydych yn f’ofni i?”“It has been set down that no-one who could not speak the Old-tongue was to hold any high office in this Society, and so I have finely studied the language and all the rites. Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there, but as it is said, the children should be willing to wear the same garments that their fathers wore before them. Here I stand before you, in the meagre dress of a neophyte of the Guild, and like this shall I speak with you. But I have sinned against the instruction given to those who are setting out on the heavenly byways which the Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt knew about. I have pronounced words of power and I am a learner no longer. It is because you are my comrades that you hear me intently, or because I have mastered the old secrets and you fear me?”
Euthum yn fy mlaen wedyn: “Ai aderyn drwgargoelus yw’ch enw arnaf fi? A yw’n hawdd imi gael fy nghyfrif yn ddrygionus, er mai dim ond henoed chwerw, rhagrithiol, beirniadol, ac unig ydych chi i gyd, sydd wedi methu’n lân mewn pob ymdrech? Gwir y mae’r gigfran hon yn sôn yn hyn o beth – Myfi a orfoda i chwi’r colomennod beidio ag anghofio diarhebion y doethion, ac anwybyddu dywediadau’r henafiaid. Felly llefaraf. Na cherwch gysgu, rhag eich myned yn wirion; ond er mai adfyd sy’n datblygu cymeriad, ni ddylech daflu’ch gemau o flaen y moch, rhag iddynt eu sathru dan eu traed, a throi a’ch rhwygo chwi. Pe mynegwn, a thraethu’ch gwendidau, amlach fyddant nag y gellid eu rhifo. Y mae dau beth a ddysgir yn dda yng Nghymru, sef sut i ganmol a sut i feirniadu, a gwneud y naill yn rhy dda yr ydych, tra methwch â gwneud y llall yn llwyr. Fel y’m taflwch finnau ymaith, fel na ddeloch chi byth yn ddoethion.I went on then: “Is bird of ill omen your name for me? Is it easy for me to be accounted evil, although naught but bitter old-folks are you all, prejudiced, judgemental, and lonely, who have utterly failed in every effort? Truly is this raven in speaking in this case – It is I who shall force you the doves to cease forgetting the proverbs of the wise and ignoring the sayings of the ancestors. So I speak. Do not love sleep, lest you become stupid, but, although affliction develops character, you should not cast your gems before the swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn to maul you. If I were to reveal, and discuss, your weaknesses, they would be more numerous than could be counted. There are two things that are taught well in Wales, namely how to praise and how to judge, and you do the one too well, whilst you fail to do the other entirely. In the same way that you cast me aside, so you may never become wise.
“Mae’r mwyafrif llethol ohonoch chi’n honni bod dynolryw yn iachach, yn gryfach, ac yn hapusach nag y buont erioed, ond mae arnaf ofn na allaf gytuno. Fe ddefnyddiant holl ddyfeisiau technegol eu gwybodaeth helaeth yn ôl fel y gwelant yn dda, gan ddistrywio’r blaned. Fe gredant hefyd, am eu bod mor ddysgedig, a chanddynt gymaint o ysgrifau astrus, eu bod yn medru consurio a gorchymyn yr ysbryd dynol ac yn rheoli hyd yn oed rymoedd natur. Y mae ganddynt eisoes gymaint o arian, a meddiannau, ac uchelgeisiau, a gofidiau’n dynn o’u cwmpas na ddeuent fyth trwy borth y Deml hon pe gwerthent eu heneidiau.“The vast majority of you claim that humankind is healthier, stronger, and happier than they have ever been, but I fear I cannot agree. They use all the technological inventions of their extensive knowledge as they see fit, destroying the planet. They also believe, as they are so learned, and have so many abstruse writings, that they can conjure and command the human spirit and rule even the powers of nature. They already have so much money, and so many possessions, and ambitions, and sorrows, girded tight about them they could never come through the gate of this Temple if they were to sell their souls.
“Ond eto i gyd pobl un rhyw a eilw am i’r dymestl, yr haint, a'r milwyr, daro pobl rhyw arall â lladdfa fawr, canys beth sydd fwy dealladwy ond hefyd yn fwy anghyfiawn nag i bobl gasáu'r hyn nis adnabyddant? Pwy mwyach sydd yn cofio’r dywediad, Na fernwch, fel na’ch barner? Eto myfi sydd wedi gweld yn ystod fy mywyd byr mwy o erchylltod arswydus nag a fedrir yn awr ei draethu, nac a fedrais y pryd hynny ei oddef.“But then again people of a certain kind call for the tempest, and the plague, and the soldiers, to strike down people of another sort in a great slaughter, since what is more understandable but also more unjust than that people hate what they do not understand? Who any more remembers the saying: Judge not, that you not be judged? Yet it is I who have seen during my short life more terrible ghastliness than can now be recounted, nor than I could at that time suffer.
“Pe bawn i yn y bedd, yng nghroth fy mam gyntaf, hyhi a’m cadwai’n ddiogel ac a’m cuddiai rhag y gofid uffernol sydd ar y Ddaear hon dan yr Haul. Ond nid ydwyf yn y bedd, yn hytrach yr wyf fel pe bawn yn newydd-anedig. A gwn i mai Saith Swynwr y Nw Yrth sydd yn gwarafun inni ddysgu eu hud, eithr taw’r Delw-addolwyr Dioglyd a annog imi ei ddefnyddio’n ddwys. Geiriau sobrwydd yr wyf fi yn eu traethu yma.“Were I in the grave, in the womb of my first mother, she would keep me safe and hide me from the hell and the hellish suffering which is on this Earth under the Sun. But I am not in the grave, rather I am as if I were newly-born. And I know that it is the Seven Sorcerers of the Nw Yrth who are preventing us from learning their magic, but that it is the Indolent Idolaters who are encouraging me to use it intensely. Words of gravity am I pronouncing here.
“Felly y mae’r gwynt yn chwythu lle y mynno, eithr myfi sydd wedi defnyddio nerth geiriau hudol i’m cadw fy hunan yn ddianaf, fel pa le bynnag y crwydrwn, hyd yn oed pe rhodiwn ar hyd glyn cysgod angau, nid ofnwn ddim niwed. Ni ddywedaf hyn oll wrthych oblegid ni wyddoch y gwirionedd, eithr oherwydd eich bod yn ei wybod, ond ni sylweddolwch chwi. Ac fe ddywedaf wrthych: Wele, fel y mae clai yn nwylo’r crochenydd, felly yr ydych chwithau yn fy nwylo i, o ganlyniad i’m geiriau swynol! Oblegid nid wyf yn amau na allaf gynhyrfu calonnau’r rhai yma cyn y delwyf i ddiwedd y darn hwn, i newidio eu meddwl. Felly gochelwch chi! Os torrir yn yfflon rywbeth na ellir byth ei gyfannu drachefn na’i wneuthur fel cynt, yna fe brofir gwŷn gwahanol yn wir. Am y rhai megis ag y maent hwy’n barod i gredu addewidion y Dewin, felly y dylent fod mor barod i goelio ei fygythion hefyd.“Thus the wind blows where it will, but it is I who have used the power of magic words to keep myself unharmed, so that wherever I wandered, even if I were to walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I should fear no damage. I do not say all this to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know but you do not realise. And I say to you: Behold, as is clay in the hands of the potter, so are you in my hands, as a result of my enchantments! For I do not doubt I can strike terror into the hearts of those here before I come to the end of this piece, to change their minds. So beware! If something is broken to smithereens that can never be put together again nor made as before, then a different passion will be experienced indeed. For those such as are ready to believe the promises of the Magus, so they should be as ready to give credence to his threats also.
“O angenrheidrwydd y gweithredais o’m pen a’m pastwn fy hun, er cynted ag y penderfynais deithio lle na theithiasai neb o’r blaen. Ym mha le y byddai’r achlysur unigryw’n digwydd? Meddyliwn am Neuadd y Delweddau dan y tŵr cloc, un o’m hoff leoedd. Dyna fangre sy’n fwrlwm o egnïon hynod. Ond byddai raid y cadwer pob peth yn y fan gysegredig yn lân, heb olion llysnafedd, na chwys, na dagrau; a heb ei halogi gan werin bobl, hyd at eiliad y seremoni, “rhag i’r holl nerth erch droi yn erbyn y chwiliwr.” Yn enwedig fe fyddai gan y grisial-syllwyr angen bod yn dra chynefin â’r llafar-ganeuon priodol. Hyn oll oedd yn ôl cyfarwyddiadau’r Brodyr Ioan Llwynlesg yn ei Lawlyfr Hud a Lledrith dychrynllyd o’r enw ‘Sefer ha-Marot,’ neu ‘Llyfr Drychau’ a ysgrifennwyd yn y bedwaredd ganrif ar ddeg.“Of necessity I operated on my own initiative, as soon as I decided to travel where no-one had travelled before. Where would the unique event take place? I thought about the Hall of the Images below the clock tower, one of my favourite places. That’s a place that’s seething with curious enregies. But it would be necessary that every thing in the consecrated space be kept pure, without traces of snot, and sweat, and tears; and without desecration by normal folk, until the moment of the ceremony, “lest the whole dread power do turn against the seeker.” In particular the scryer would need to be very familiar with the appropriate chants. All of this was according to the instructions of Brother Johann Woodswurch in his terrifying Grimoire called ‘Sefer ha-Marot’ or ‘The Book of Mirrors’ which was written in the fourteenth century.
“Felly yn seler yr hen Dŷ Glas y digwyddai, y bwthyn hwnnw wedi’i adeiladu o gerrig cysegredig a ddygwyd o Breseli, ar gladdfa Geltaidd lle mae mynediad hynafol i Annwfn, wedi’i amddiffyn gan Mawdryn, arglwydd difarw amser, wrth i olau’r lleuad lawn ddisgleirio tu allan. Mae rhai’n ei ddisgrifio fel plasdy i’r meirwon anniddig, ac yno y cyrchais liw nos gyda’r teclynnau arferol -- dagr glân a defnydd helaeth arno, dwy ddoli glwt, potel o ddŵr rhedegog, ffres wedi’i gasglu o nant ddyw Awst, tun o baent coch (neu waed), a brwsh o flew ci -- mewn sach o hesian. Ymhellach, dod â’r drych hudol a wneuthum i weled ynddo'r pethau nas gweler gan lygaid byw. Fe adeiladais byramid sylweddol yng nghanol y llawr o bridd yn symbol o aileni, ac i weithio fel goleufa i’m harwain yn ôl, gan ei fedyddio â gwaed a dywalltai o archoll yn fy mraich chwith. Fe yngenais i’r swynion priodol, a phaentio’r arwyddion cêl, hyd yn oed y Sêl Ysgarlad y nedir i neb ei llunio ar wyneb y Ddaear. Ac yn olaf, fe lowciais i’r dracht arbennig i’r talcen.So in the cellar o the old Blue House it would happen, that cottage built of sacred rock brought from Preseli, on a Celtic burial-site where there is an ancient entrance to the Underworld, guarded by Mawdryn, the undead lord of time, while the light of the full moon glinted outside. Some describe it as a mansion for the restless deceased, and there I made for by night with the usual equipment – a purified, much-used dagger, two rag-dolls, a bottle of fresh, running water, collected from a stream on Lammas Day, a tin of red paint (or blood), and a dog-fur brush – in a hessian sack. Furthermore, I brought the magic mirror in which to see the things that should not be seen by living eyes. I build a substantial pyramid un the middle of the earthen floor as a symbol of rebirth, and to act as a lighthouse to guide me back, baptizing it with blood which poured from a gash in my left arm. I pronounced the appropriate spells, and painted the secret signs, even the Scarlet Seal which all are forbidden from fashioning on the face of the Earth. And last, I downed the special draught.
“Rhwydd disgyn i Annwfn. Fe ddarfu imi deithio’n syth ar draws ehangder helaeth y continwwm gofod-amser fel rhyw blentyn annaearol, cyn imi gyrraedd pyllau diwaelod cyfandir deheuol y Nw Yrth, yn llawn tân rhewllyd a serch a glwyfa. Ac wedyn, wedi cyfnod a deimlai fel tragwyddoldeb wrth imi fod yn y fantol yn hofran rhwng bod ac anfod, fe ddaeth gweledigaeth ohono fe i’r golwg o fôr gwaed berwedig, tra torrodd fy nrych yn gyrbibion. Ac wedyn: O, arswyd, ddychryn, ysgryd – dyma ffiaidd bwyll – Na ddywed tafod d’enw, na deall calon dy dwyll!“Easy is the descent to Hell. I immediately travelled across the vast expanse of the space-time continuum like some unearthly child, before I reached the bottomless pits on the southern continent of the Nw Yrth, full of freezing fire and love that pierces. And then, after a period that felt like eternity whilst I was in the balance hovering between being and non-being, there came into view a vision of him from a sea of boiling blood, while my mirror smashed into fragments. And then: Oh, horror, terror, quaking – here’s a mind so vile – That tongue speaks not your name, nor fathoms heart your guile!
“Baratoed oedd yr Offeiriad Coch, ymgnawdoliad yr hen Swynwyr yn ei ateb yntau. Uchel Dad Cyffredinol. y Brodyr Cwflog ydy, ac yr oedd â chwcwll am ei ben, oedd yn belen o gnawd braenllyd a heigiai â chynrhon; ac o dan ei urddwisg fudredig y symudai heb ball ffurfiau fel seirff cyhyrog. Ar ei faner las yr oedd cadlef y Saith Swynwr gormesol – Heddwch trwy Ryfel. Rhyddid mewn Caethder. Anwybodaeth yw Nerth. Fe lefarodd ef wedyn o ran ei feistri erchyll gan ddywedyd:“How ready was the Red Priest, avatar of the old Sorcerers in his answer. He is Superior General of the Cowled Brothers, and he had a hood about his head, which was a ball of corrupt flesh, teeming with maggots, and under his decayed vestments there moved ceaselessly forms like muscular snakes. On his blue standard there was the battle-cry of the Seven oppressive Sorcerers – Peace through War. Freedom in Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. He spoke then on behalf of his terrible masters, saying:
“‘Os oes gan neb glustiau i wrando, gwrandawed! Ni ddylet ti mor rhyfeddu fe ddarfod i ddynol-ryw ddewis ufuddhau i’w meistri, Saith Swynwr y Nw Yrth sydd mor haelionus a maddeugar tuag at y trychfilod y maent wedi’u dewis, a’u hachub a’u dyrchafu ar y Ddaear a becha’n gyson yn eu herbyn mor ysgeler. Hwynt-hwy a roddodd i’r Pharoaid wybodaeth ma’at ac isfet, a ddysgodd iddynt gyfrinachau’r ren, y ba, y cha, y siwt, y chaibet, yr haw, y chet, yr ib, a’r ach – a ddangosodd sut mae’r grym bywiol yn symbylu’r bersonoliaeth unigol yn y corff, gyda chymorth y cysgod – ac a esboniodd sut i glymu’r galon a’r enw ar ôl marwolaeth y gelain ar ffurf yr ysbryd nerthol, fel y rodio ef lwybrau trefn gyda hwynt fel eu gwas caeth ar y Nw Yrth am byth. A bellach yn yr oes sydd ohoni, hwynt-hwy a ddatgela’r pŵer yn niwclews yr atom, yr holl ddefnydd ar belydriad electromagnetig, a’r cyfrinachau cemegol yn organyn crwn hwnnw’n cynnwys y cromosomau ym mhob cell byw.“’If anyone has ears to listen, let him hear! You should not be so surprised that humankind chose to obey their masters, the Seven Sorcerers of the Nw Yrth who are so generous and forgiving towards those insects they have chosen, and saved, and raised up on the Earth, who constantly sin against them so abominably. It is they who gave to the Pharaohs the knowledge of ma’at and isfet, who taught them the secrets of the ren, the ba, the kha, the siwt, the khaibet, the haw, the khet, the ib, and the akh – who showed how the life-force stimulates the individual personality in the body, with the help of the shadow – and explained how to bind the heart and the name after death of the corpse in the form of the effective spirit, so that it might tread the pathways of order with them as their bond-servant on the Nw Yrth for ever. And now, in this current age, it is thwy who have reveaed the power in the nucleus of the atom, all the uses of electromagnetic radiation, and the chemical secrets in that round organelle containing the chromosomes in every living cell.
“Ond mae’r oes oddi ar ei hechel pan fo rhai’n troi ymaith rhag llwybr rhwyd cyfiawnder sy’n arwain at fodlondeb y tu hwnt i syrffed mewn byd lle y datgelir pob cyfrinach, ac y dilëir pob staen gan wyrthiau syfrdanol ein technoleg, oni bai eu bod yn addoli dan wawl chwilysaidd yr Haul, gwir Dad i bawb. Gerllaw y dangosaf iti sut y maent yn derbyn eu cosb gorfforol a meddyliol. Ac o’th ran di hefyd, cymer ofal, deithiwr tila, sydd wedi dod yma heb wahoddiad a chyn pryd, rhag i’th gannwyll ddiffodd ar y Ddaear cyn iti ddychwelyd, rhag na fo goleuni ynot i ddangos iti i ba le yr elych wrth farw. Gwell fyddai arbed dy lais nerthol di hyd nes y bydd yn gwbl gryf wrth goleddu dy ffyddlondeb tuag at dy wir feistri. Wedyn tyrd yn d’ôl di, ac fe fydd iti wobr enfawr, a bywyd tragwyddol, os llwyddo yn y prawf terfynol a wnei di. Oblegid fel y daw’r fellten o’r dwyrain, gan lewyrchu hyd y gorllewin; felly hefyd y bydd dyfod Teyrnas y Swynwyr, lle yr oedd yn y dechrau, y mae'r awr hon, ac y bydd yn wastad yn oes, mai Ffydd yw Purdeb, Purdeb yw Nerth. Ond yn y cyfamser fe fyddaf fi wastad gyda thi. Nid oes raid i ti ond cofio hyn: Swtach oedd teitl arnaf fi yn y gorffennol pell. Felly sonier enw arglwydd trefn sy’n dofi’r anialwch coch, ac fe ddaw ar y gair!’"The times are out of joint when some may turn away from the easy path of righteousness which leads to satiation beyond surfeit in a world where all secrets are revealed, and all stains are removed by the stunning miracles of our technology, if only they worship under the inquisitorial radiance of the Sun, true Father to all. Imminently I shall show to you how they receive their punishment, corporal and mental. And for your part, too, take care, puny traveller, who has come here uninvited and before his time, lest your candle go out on the Earth before you return, so that there be not be light in you to show you where to go when you die. It would be better to save your voice of power until it is completely strong whilst cultivating your faithfulness towards your true masters. Then come back, and there shall be for you an enormous prize, and eternal life, if you succeed in the final test. For as the lightning comes from the east, and radiates as far as the west; so too shall be the coming of the Kingdom of the Sorcerers, where it was in the beginning, it is now, and it shall be for ever, that Faith is Purity, Purity is Strength. But in the meantime I shall be always with you. You need remember only this: Swtach was my title in the distant past. Therefore speak the name of the lord of order who tames the red wilderness, and he is sure to appear!’
“A chyda caniad calonrwygol utgorn o bres oedd yn ddigon i oeri’r gwaed, disgynnodd y cennad ysgethrin i eigion o blwm tawdd, llawn siapau’n debyg iawn i gyrff a gynhyrfai fel pe baent mewn gloes. Ac o’r herwydd y’i hadwaenir fel y Peintiwr Coch hefyd, gan mai gwaed a thân a chnawd yw ei elfennau, a’i eiddo ef yw’r Sêl Ysgarlad erch, a phoen chwerw-felys yw arf ei gelf. Arhosodd y weledigaeth hon gyda mi hyd nes i’r pelydryn olaf ballu yn y darn o ddrych, wrth i’r llais gorfelys fflatsian yn fy nghlustiau fel triagl, canys yn gymaint ag iddynt wneuthur llawer o bethau, y Swynwyr a ddichon demtio’r rhai a wrendy arnynt. Oblegid a gymero ddiawl yn athro, a ddysg fod yn gythraul. Âi cryndod amhosibl ei atal trwy fy nghnawd a’m hesgyrn, fy ngïau a’m mêr, wrth edrych ar yr holl olygfa uffernol, fel pe bawn yn edrych ar y llyn brwmstan, llosgedig ei hunan, canys diau y gwêl ambell un fwy mewn awr nag a wêl llawer ohonoch chi mewn einioes.“And with the heart-rending blast of a brazen trumpet which was enough to chill the blood, the terrible emissary descended into an ocean of molten lead, full of shapes very like bodies that writhed as if they were in agony. And thus is he known also as the Red Painter as his elements are blood, and fire, and flesh, and to him the dire Scarlet Seal belongs, and bitter-sweet pain is the tool of his art. This vision remained with me until the last ray faded in the shard of mirror, while the saccharine voice sloshed about in my ears like treacle, because in as much as they do many things, the Sorcerers are able to tempt those who listen to them. For whoever takes the devil as a teacher, shall learn to be a devil. An unstoppable trembling went through my flesh and my bones, my sinews and my marrow, whilst looking at the whole hellish scenario, as if I were looking at the burning, brimstone lake itself, since doubtless the occasional one shall see more in an hour than shall see many of you in a lifetime.
“Llefain ac adrodd a wneuthum, ond nid atebwyd mo’m llafarganu. Wedyn, pan eu ceisiaswn hwynt ond heb gael hyd iddynt, fe holais i’r Delw-addolwyr unwaith yn rhagor o affwys anobaith. Ac fe arhosais, a chwyno, a bloeddio tan i’m tafod fynd yn fud. Ac yna fe sylweddolais mai’r Swynwyr a orchmynna ar i ddynion gael eu rhwymo, ond y Delw-addolwyr sy’n awgrymu y gellir ein gollwng trwy’n hymdrechion ein hunain. Fe ystyriwn a ddylwn fy lladd fy hunan yn y fan a’r lle â’r darn o ddrych, ond fe wibiodd trwy fy meddwl fy mywyd hyd yn hynny, a’r gwaith mawr yr oedd yn dal i’w wneud. Rywsut neu’i gilydd fe syrthiais i fadrondod dwfn. Trannoeth efallai fe’u gwelais hwy, beth bynnag a fo dydd a nos yn y lle yna heb amser.“I wept and recited, but my chanting was not answered. Then, when I had sought them but had not found them, I enquired of the Idolaters once again from the depths of despair. And I waited, and complained, and shouted until my tongue became mute. And then I realised that it is the Sorcerers who command that men are bound, but the Idolaters who suggest that can release ourselves through our own efforts. I considered whether I should kill myself there and then with the fragment of mirror, but my life up to then flashed through my mind, and the great work that was still to be done. Somehow or other I fell into a deep stupor. The next day perhaps, I saw them, whatever may be day and night in that timeless place.
“Mewn breuddwyd llesmeiriol fe’u clywais hwy drannoeth yn ystod rhyw gyfnod heb faint. Yr oedd eu lleisiau fel ochneidio angylion, a rhuo llewpardiaid, a sgrechian tsimpansïaid, a mewian cathod, a chwibanu a chlecian môr-hychod, a rhoncian moch, a llefain babanod, a phob sŵn arall y gellid ei ddychmygu. Nid yr un iaith ddynol a siaradai, ond pob un ar yr un pryd, ac eto y’u deallwn yn berffaith. Eu calonnau nhw’n sgwrsio â’m calon i. Ond am eu gwedd ni fedraf ddywed, gan eu bod yn trawsffurfio drwy’r amser wrth iddynt grychneidio a chwerthin ymhlith coedwig o binwydd, ar wastatiroedd ffrwythlon ger llynnoedd toreithiog dan olau’r Lleuad oriog sydd yn fam i bob creadur gwahanol.“In a hypnotic dream I heard them the next day during some measureless period. Their voices were like the sighs of angels, and the roaring of leopards, and the screeching of chimpanzees, and the mewing of cats, and the whistling and clicking of dolphins, and the crying of babies, and every other sound that could be imagined. Not in a single human language were they speaking, but in every one at the same time, and yet I could understood them perfectly. Their hearts speaking to my heart. But of their aspect I cannot tell, as they were transforming all the time as they capered and laughed amongst the wood of pine-trees, on a fruitful plane by teeming lakes under the light of the capricious Moon who is mother to every different creature.
“Mae’n tybied na ddeallent hwy beth yr ydym ni’n ei wneuthur ar y Ddaear, yn well nag y gwyddom ninnau beth y maent hwy yn ei wneud yn y Nw Yrth, ond hwynt-hwy a’n gedy ni'n llonydd i ffynnu neu ffaelu, ac a oddef inni ddwyn y fath drysorau ohonynt ag a awchom pan ddelo’r amser. Oddi wrthynt hwy a ddaw pob peth da’n rhydd ac yn rhwydd. Trwy symud parhaus y cymalau a’r afonydd yr arddangosent inni ddawnsio, trwy goethi synau’r anifeiliaid amryfal y dysgem ganddynt hwy sut i lefaru. Rhoddai’u clebran llawen gerddi a chanu inni, a chymhellai’u chwarae anhrefnus gyda’r elfennau’n celf. Ond ymddengys nad ydynt yn poeni’n ormodol am yr hadau a heuant ymhlith y chwyn, nac ymhyfrydu yn ffrwythau’u llafur drwy gydol yr oesoedd ychwaith. Dyna’u gofid cryfaf. Ni esyd y Delw-addolwyr ar eu disgyblion hunan-ddewisedig ychwaneg nag a haeddont. Mae’r rhain yn dysgu neu ddarganfod yr hyn a fedront pa bryd bynnag y mynnont fel y bydd popeth yn barod ganddynt yn y cyfryw gyflwr ar y diwedd nes y cychwynnont ar y daith olaf dan wenu am y bydd angau wedi colli’i golyn a’i wenwyn marwol. Dyma a ddadlennid imi yn fy ngweledigaeth. Fe fynegaf fi yma bethau wedi’u cuddio er pan seiliwyd y cyfanfyd. Fe’m gadewid yng ngofal tyner rhai ysbrydion cymwynasgar, a thrwy’u tirion drugareddau fe ddaeth ataf ddeall clir ac eang. “It is suspected that they do not understand what we do on the Earth, any better than we know what they do in the Nw Yrth, but it is they who leave us in peace to flourish or fail, and who suffer us to steal such treasures from them as we may crave when the time comes. From them comes every good thing freely and easily. Through the constant motion of the clouds and rivers they showed us dancing, through refining the noises of the sundry animals we learned from them how to speak. Their joyful babbling gave us poetry and song, and their mucky play with the elements spurred on our art. But it appears that they do not vex themselves unduly about the seeds they sow amongst the weeds, nor delight in the fruits of their labour throughout the ages either. That is their strongest weakness. The Idolaters do not set on their self-chosen disciples more than they may deserve. These learn or discover what they may whenever they desire, so that everything will be ready for them in such a condition in the end that they set out on the last journey with a grin, because death will have lost its sting and its mortal poison. This is what was revealed to me in my vision. I express here things hidden since the universe was established. I was left in the tender care of some beneficent spirits, and through their tender mercies there came to me clear and extensive understanding.
“Fe welais yn nesaf orawenus hurtio’n gelynion ni mewn anferthol drobwll ewynnog o sain gogoneddus a glendid gwyllt, lle yr oedd côr o leisiau cryfaf y byd yn canu cân feddwol o gymhleth am garu, a chasáu, a chadw, a cholli, ac am uno pob peth croes. Fe sylweddolais wedyn heb feddwl sut i fwrw’r hud grymusaf, drwy ddefnyddio’r nerth symbolaidd ar galon gwe iaith, sy’n aruthrol ond hawddgar. Fe edrychaf a gwrando ar bob dim heddiw fel petai’n newydd, a gwylio’r cymylau, a’r cerrig, a’r afonydd, fel pe bont yn meddu enaid a meddwl. A chan mai’r duwdodau rhyfedd a’m bendithiodd finnau cymaint felly fe bery fy modolaeth heb dreulio dros saith einioes, petai waeth am hynny. Fel mai byw fi, meddaf, ac fel mai byw’ch eneidiau chi, myfi a wnaeth y pethau hyn. Wrth lamsachu gyda’n chwiorydd yr awelon a chyda’n brodyr yr enfysoedd, y mae’n bur amlwg bellach mai dilyn yr hen lwybrau yr oeddwn, ond gydag imi gael golwg ddirwystr ar y wlad y tu hwnt i’r llen, caeodd gorchudd o niwl amdanaf.“Next, I saw then the joyful flummoxing of our enemies in an enormous foamy maelstrom of glorious sound and wild beauty, where there was a choir of the strongest voices in the world singing an intoxicatingly complex song about loving, and hating, and keeping, and losing, and the uniting of all opposites. I realised then without thinking how to cast the strongest magic, through using the symbolic power at the heart of the web of language, which is astounding but lovely. I look at and listen to everything today as if it were new, and watch the clouds, and the rocks, and the rivers, as if they possess soul and mind. And because the strange deities blessed me so much, so my existence shall continue without wearing thin over seven lifetimes, if that mattered at all. As I live, I say, and as your spirits live, it is I who did these things. Whist disporting with our sisters the breezes, and with our brothers the rainbows, it is very obvious now that were following the old paths, but as soon as I got an unobstructed glimpse of the land beyond the veil, a shroud of fog closed around me.
“Ac wedyn, yn ebrwydd, fe sylweddolais fod rhywbeth (beth yn enwedig?) a’m hymlidiai fi. Fe afaelwn yn y darn o ddrych am y chwyth, wrth i’r cysgodion berwedig ymosod arnaf fel praidd o geffylau fampiraidd, ffyrnig, a’u cyrff yn ysgerbydau, a’u llygaid yn fflamllyd, ynghyd â haid o gŵn gwynion cynddeiriog, a’u clustiau’n gringoch. A dyna oedd lleisiau bwystfilaidd ond dynol yn f’amgylchu, gan weiddi, a sibrwd, a gwawdio, a chrio, ac annog, a gweddïo, ac fel Charles Edwards o'm blaen i, yn ei dyddiau olaf, fe glywn yn fy mhen leisiau gwŷr a gwragedd yn crybwyll pob math ar weithgareddau ffiaidd mewn pob iaith, arddull, tafod, cywair a thafodiaith a adnabuwyd er cyn cof. Rwy wedi fy nychryn ar fy hyd, ac yn wir ar fin trengi, ond unwaith yr oeddwn wedi dirnad eu bod yn ymgeisio i’m lladd trwy frathu, a rhwygo, a sathru, a gwasgu, myfi a giliodd ymaith rhag ofn, a saethu geiriau gwarcheidiol i’r tywyllwch llwyr tuag ystlys y bodau annelwig a ddymunai fy nifa, fel pes gollyngwn tuag at nod.“And then, suddenly, I realised that something (what exactly?) was pursuing me. I grabbed the piece of mirror for dear life, while the boiling shadows set upon me like a herd of savage, vampiric horses with skeletal bodies and flaming eyes, together with a pack of rabid white dogs with red ears. And there were voices, bestial but human, surrounding me, shouting, and whistering, and mocking, and crying, and exhorting, and like Charles Edwards before me, in his last days, I heard in my head the voices of men and women, mentioning all kinds of foul activities, in every language, style, tongue, register, and dialect that has been known from time immemorial. I was terror-struck, and on the point of perishing, but as soon as I had discerned that they were attempting to kill me through biting, and tearing, and stomping, and crushing, I pulled away in fear, and shot defensive words into the utter darkness towards the flank of the shapeless beings which desired to destroy me, as if I was releasing them towards a target.
“Ac edifarhaodd arnaf wneuthur ohonof fi swyngyfaredd ar y Ddaear. Fodd bynnag, y mae’r nwyd anfarwol yn y dewin, megis yn y proffwyd, y bardd, a’r artist, yn rhywbeth na ellir ei ladd wrth reswm. Felly tyngu llyfon ac addo’n ofer a wneuthum, gan weddïo ar yr hen dduwdodau gwallgof, ‘Gadewch imi lonydd fel yr ymgysurwyf ychydig, cyn myned ohonof lle na ddychwelwyf, i dir tywyllwch a chysgod ebargofiant. Eithr pwy ydwyf fi fel y delwyf fi atoch? Ac eto yn wir, dim ond trychfil dibwys fwyf fi, ond fe hysbysaf bobloedd y Ddaear ynghylch rhyfeddodau'r Delw-addolwr Dioglyd. Fe wnaf fi aberth, ac edrych hyd oni leddir y bwystfil, a difetha ei gorff ef, a’i roddi i’w losgi yn y tân.’ Yn y funud honno rhwygwyd y düwch melfed gan fflach trydan a berodd i’r endidau ffrwydro â gweryru dirfawr, llawn rhwystredigaeth ac ing, gan ysgeintio’r dirwedd anial â thalpiau dirifedi o ectoplasm seimllyd, poeth. Ym mhob man yr oedd llewych fiolet a drycsawr osôn, tra cythryblai bloeddio chwerthin aflywodraethus holl ddeunydd y lle dirmygadwy hwnnw. Seriwyd fy nghnawd fel petai gan haearn gwynias. Ac felly y’m gwaredwyd rhag crafangau’r Swynwyr gan afiaith y Delw-addolwyr. Fe gollais ymwybyddiaeth.“And I regretted I had performed sorcery on the Earth. However, the immortal passion in the wizard, as in the prophet, the poet, and the artist, is something that cannot be killed of course. Therefore I swore oaths and promised in vain, praying to the old mad deities, ‘Give me peace that I may comfort myself a little, before I go whence I may not return, to the land of darkness and the shadow of oblivion. But who am I that I might come to you? And then again, truly, only a worthless insect may I be, but I shall inform the peoples of the Earth about the wonders of the Indolent Idolaters. I shall make sacrifice, and attend until the creature is slaughtered, and separate its carcase, and put it to roast in the fire.’ At that moment the velvet blackness was rent by a flash of electricity which caused the entities to explode with an enormous whinnying, full of frustration and angst, showering the desolate landscape with countless chunks of slimy, hot ectoplasm. Everywhere, there was a violet glow and the stench of ozone, whilst uncontrollable guffawing roiled the whole fabric of that despicable place. My flesh was seared as if by white-hot iron. And so was I saved from the clutches of the Sorcerers by the mirth of the Idolaters. I lost consciousness.
“Fe ddihunais yn seler tŷ rhif saith, neu efallai dau ar bymtheg, ni allaf fi gofio mwyach; y Tŷ Glas, ta beth. Pan ddeuthum i at fy nghoed, fe welais fy mod yn noethlymun, ac yn fwcws a gwaed a chwys i gyd. Fe deimlwn fel petaswn i wedi bod i ffwrdd ers canrifoedd. Fe syrthiais i gysgu eto. Fe freuddwydiwn fy mod yn llefaru â thafodau, mai yn yr Hen Eiffteg y adroddwn, ac mewn ieithoedd estron eraill hefyd nad adwaenid i mi o’r blaen. A ddaethwn i o hyd i gyfrinach bywyd tragwyddol? Ond wrth hynny, yn groes i'ch disgwyl chi, nid wyf fi'n golygu parhau yn yr un cyflwr yn llythrennol, ar ffurf sombïaid lluddedig, wedi'u rhewi, a'u ffosileiddio, sy'n aros yn anobeithiol mewn marweidd-dra meddylwaith caethwasol, heb newid, byth bythoedd. Yn hytrach yr wyf fi'n dychmygu ennill y gallu i adael y fodolaeth hon, gan doddi ac ymddatod, fel y dychwelom heb ofn at ffynhonnell pob creadigaeth, gan atseinio ag alaw ddryslyd y cyfanfyd sydd bob amser yn datblygu."I awoke in the cellar of house number seven, or perhaps seventeen, I cannot remember any longer; the Blue House, anyway. When I came to my senses, I saw I was naked, and covered in mucus and blood and sweat. I felt as if I had been away for centuries. I fell asleep again. I dreamt I was speaking in tongues, that in Ancient Egyptian I was reciting, and in other foreign languages too that were not known to me before. Had I found the secret of eternal life? But by that, contrary to what you might think, I do not mean literally continuing in the same state, as jaded zombies, frozen and fossilized, which wait hopelessly in a suspended animation of slavish mentation, changeless, for eternity. Buut rather I imagine gaining the ability to relinquish this existence, dissolving and disintegrating, so that we might return without fear to the source of all creativity, resonating with the universe's ever-evolving chaotic tune.
“Fe gredaf fi heb brawf diymwad fod yr ateb yng ngeiriau neilltuol ynghyd ag agwedd meddyliol arbennig. Nid oes gennyf ddim syniad sut y dychwelaswn, ond yr oedd delw’r Sêl Ysgarlad wedi’i selio’n ddwfn ar fy mrest chwith fel arwydd parhaol mai rhyfelwr dros wirionedd ydwyf. Afraid dweud y byddai raid imi ymweld â’r Clinig newydd hanner ffordd i fyny’r bryn tua dwyrain y dref o bryd i’w gilydd oddi yna, ac y deuai pawb yno yn deulu mabwysiedig imi maes o law. Na ato’r duwdodau estron i’w gweision ddioddef y cyfryw brawf byth eto!"I believe without indisputable proof that the answer is in particular words together with a special attitude of mind. I have no idea how I had returned, but the image of the Scarlet Seal had been seared deeply on my left chest as a permanent sign that I am a warrior for truth. Needless to say I would have to visit the new Clinic halfway up the hill towards the east of the town from time to time from then on, and that everyone there would become an adoptive family to me in due course. May the strange deities forbid that their servants suffer such a trial ever again!
“Gan wneuthur o Awen ein Hurdd imi ddysgu hyn oll, nid mor ddeallgar a doeth neb a myfi bellach. Am hynny, fe ddeisyfaf ar i chwi ddiffyn y goleuni a gwneuthur y gorau ohono, cyn y’ch goddiweddo’r tywyllwch. Gwrandewch arnaf oherwydd fy ngeiriau a bery am amser maith. Byw wyf fi, myfi a seiliwyd â’r Sêl Ysgarlad, a byw a wnewch chithau hefyd os daliwch ar eiriau fy llais.” Ac erbyn hynny, os eisiau tawelwch oedd ar neb, dyna’r lle i’w gael, ac yr oedd sŵn y ffrydiau byw y tu allan i’r Deml mor dawel nes gwneud i’r sawl feddwl mai troi’n swrth yn eu hunfan yr oeddent, ac nid llifo mewn hoen.“As the Muse of our Guild has made me learn all this, no-one is as intelligent and wise as me now. Because of that, I implore you to uphold the light and make the most of it, before the darkness overtake you. Listen to me because my words shall persist for a long time. I am alive, I who have been sealed with the Scarlet Seal, and living will you be also if you seize upon the words of my voice.” And by then, if anyone needed silence, that was the place to get it, and the sound of the lively streams outside the Temple was so quiet that one was made to think that they were turning listlessly on the spot, and not flowing joyously.
“Y mae mwynhad anghyffredin pan deimlo dyn ei fod yn cyflawni’i swydd briodol, er mor ddistadl fo honno. A dyma’r hwn a ddaeth trwy ddwfr a gwaed a thân, ac yn ei eiriau y mae pŵer di-ddadl. Y sawl na wrandawo ar hynny, na freicheidio hynny, ac na phrintio hynny yn ei galon, efe sydd wedi troi’n llwyr oddi wrth lwybr y Delw-addolwyr. Dyma un dyn y mae ei ddwylo’n lân, ond dyna’r lleill sydd a’u dwylo’n frwnt. Gwyn ei byd yr hon sydd arni ddysg, a rhoddwch i’r hwn sydd eisoes ganddo ddoniau rhagor, fel ag i beri iddynt hwy lwyddo. Ond gadwech i’r gweddill drengi. Diau y gellwch chwi yfed o nant iaith yr wyf wedi yfed ohoni; ac y’ch golchir â’r dyfroedd glân ysbrydoliaeth a’m gylch finnau’n gyson bellach.”“There is uncommon enjoyment when a man feels he is accomplishing his appointed task, no matter how insignificant that may be. And here is the one who came through water and blood and fire, and in his words is indisputable power. Whoever does not listen to that, does not embrace that, and does not imprint that on his heart, he has turned completely off the path of the Idolaters. Here is one man whose hands are clean, but there are the others whose hands are dirty. Blessed is she who is learned, and give to him who already has talents more, so as to cause them to succeed. But let the rest perish. Doubtless you will be able to drink of the stream of language that I have drunk from; and that you will be washed with the pure waters of inspiration that wash me constantly now.”
Fe ganodd y gloch deirgwaith. Daethai’r prawf at ei ben, a llwyddaswn finnau, ac ennill clod. Yr oedd rhyw ddieithrwch yn llygaid rhai o’r gwrandawyr na allent mo’m deall y pryd hwnnw, a hwy’n ddiystyr ganddynt a aeth ymaith. Ond er eu gwaethaf y Dewiniaid eraill gan ateb a floeddiai ag un llais y ffurfeb sefydlu: “Tyfwch iddo ŵn mwy coch na chuwch babŵn; torrwch iddo wisg o droed i labed clust; rhoddwch iddo groen i ddawnsio ynddo’n hoen!” Fe dderbyniais i fy hudlath a’m gŵn burgoch oddi wrth fy modryb, oedd yn gwenu o glust i glust (yn hytrach na chwyrnu fel mandril ffyrnig, megis yr arferai hi), a deuthum yn Feistr Llawn yr Urdd, yr ieuengaf erioed i wneuthur hynny. Ac o ganlyniad i hyn oll y gwyddwn imi gael hyd i’m gwir lais. Ni chawn i fy mwlian byth wedyn o hynny ymlaen.The bell rang thrice. The test had come to its end, and I had succeeded, and won renown. There was a certain alienation in the eyes of some of the listeners who could not understand me at that time, and they, disdaining, went away. But despite them the other Magi, answering, shouted with one voice the formula of induction: “Grow for him a gown more red than baboon’s frown; cut for him a robe from toe-tip to ear-lobe; give to him a skin for joyful dancing in!” I received my magic stave and my blood-red gown from my aunty, who was grinning from ear to ear (rather than snarling like a ferocious mandrill, as was her wont), and I became Full Master of the Guild, the youngest ever to do that. And as a result of all of this I knew I had found my true voice. I would never again be bullied from then on.
Yn yr amser a fu fe welais fel trwy ddrych, mewn dameg, ond yn awron yr wyf wedi gweld fy nyfodol wyneb yn wyneb. Am nad gwallgof mohonof fi, ond yn hytrach yr allwedd a egyr pob clo – myfi biau hawl gollwng a rhwymo – ac mae’r lleisiau annealladwy wastad yn f’anogi yn fy mlaen. Rwy’n teimlo pŵer y llef ddistaw, fain yn tyfu oddi mewn i’m brest. Fe fyddaf yn cofleidio fy niffygion a’u caru nhw, a’r rhai sy’n perthyn i bobl eraill hefyd, gan mai trwyddyn nhw rydym yn dal i fod yn fodau dynol; perffeithrwydd a chyflawniad sy’n arwain at farweiddio a thranc. Fe weithiaf cyn galetach â thrychfil dygn sy’n grillian drwy ddyfnder y nos: chep-er, chep-er, chep-er: gyda threigl amser fe ddof fi yn rhyfelwr dros ryddid, ac yn rhyw lun ar dywysydd i bobl ifainc, o dan reolaeth athroniaeth y Delw-addolwyr Dioglyd.In times past I saw as if through a glass, darkly, but now I have seen my future face-to-face. Because I am not a madman, but rather the key that opens every lock – it is I who possess the power of binding and setting free – and the incomprehensible voices are always pressing me forward. I feel the power of the still, small voice growing within my breast. I shall embrace my imperfections and love them, and those of other people too, as it’s through them that we keep on being human; perfection and completion lead to stagnation and extinction. I shall work as hard as an industrious insect which chirrups through the depth of the night: chep-er, chep-er, chep-er: in the fullness of time I shall become a freedom-fighter, and some kind of guide for young people, under the guidance of the Indolent Idolaters’ philosophy.
Fe blannaf goedwig o binwydd ar bwys tŷ'n gwaredigaeth ar y bryn moel, er cof am eu neges o hunan-greadigaeth trwy arddel llif chwarae caotig. Fe fydd arnaf fi angen dysgu am alsoddeg, alcemeg, astroleg, ac ieithoedd astrus wrth geisio dychwelyd i’r Nw Yrth. Dyddiad y lleuad fefus nesaf fydd dydd Llun yr ugeinfed o Fehefin 2016, rhyw hanner canrif ymlaen. A ddisgwylia llanc priodol y seremoni – neu lances briodol, pwy a ŵyr? (Wedi’r cwbl, mae amser yn hedfan, a phan newidia amserau, nyni a newidia ganddynt, oni wnawn?) A allaf fi gonsurio ymgeisydd addas?I shall plant a forest of pines near the house of our salvation on the bare hill, in memory of their message of self-creation through rejoicing in the flow of chaotic play. I shall need to learn about algebra, alchemy, astrology, and abstruse languages whilst trying to return to the Nw Yrth. The date of the next strawberry moon will be Monday the twentieth of June 2016, some half-century on. Will an appropriate lad be awaiting the ceremony – or appropriate lass, who knows? (After all, time flies, and when times change, we change with them, don’t we?) Will I be able to conjure a suitable candidate?

 

Mwy am Patrick / More about Patrick